13 Years

November 5, 2005 – I was officially hired by my mom’s general manager and the corporate office to file part time.

May 10, 2019 – I say goodbye to my time with Mercedes as the Office Manager, and hello to a multi-franchise dealer as the Assistant Controller.

It’s kind of a sad day.
I knew I couldn’t work here FOREVER, but my time here actually coming to an end feels so unexpected. I worked my way up from being a filing clerk to second in command of the office. I even worked in finance for a while. This store has taught me a lot about accounting, running an office, the car business, and also about my mom.

I can’t say I really wanted to work for my mom forever, because I didn’t and don’t, but I have enjoyed working for her. She’s a compassionate boss and a dedicated worker. She’s taught me a lot, and I know that if I need help in the future she’ll still tell me what she’d do. She also taught me what I don’t want to be, though, which is quiet. She puts up with a lot that I don’t think she has to. I want to be more vocal about when people are asking too much of the office, and me. I will, however, miss riding into and out of work with her. I’ll miss our ability to plan on the way in and decompress on the way out.

Still, I’m excited to see what Linda can teach me. I can already tell she’s a different kind of boss. She’s mid-40s and takes very little to no shit. I’m excited to see a woman with that kind of presence. I do think I have some skills she’ll value, though. My tech savvy ass will be trying to sell her on things like scanning and electronic everything if it’s possible. I don’t want to create upset, but I am all about doing things the most efficient way possible. So, I think it’s going be a good experience…. I’m hoping anyways.

Mom got me a cake for today. Dru is taking me to NoNo’s for lunch.

Yesterday I cleaned out my desk and moved Jen to my spot, Sarah to hers, and setup new monitors for Cheryl. I wanted to make sure everything was running smoothly before I leave. There are, of course, still going to be kinks. Jen has to teach Sarah titles and Sarah has to teach Cheryl billing, but I think that’ll work out fine. Dallis is going to be a problem. I already know that, because she’s already been a problem. She doesn’t follow directions and she’s easily distracted by… pretty much everything… but that’s Jen’s problem, now. Since both Dallis and I are daughters of managers, I tried really hard to tell her how to be professional, but at the end of the day I think Jen is just going to have to lay down the law and tell her to shape up or get out.

Anyways… Big day. Sad day.

On to new adventures.

Age Spot

I found an age spot this morning.

I wanted to laugh about it, but it’s freaking me out. I don’t want to be old. I’m 30. That’s not even half of what my grandparents lived to be. I was banking on 82 at least…

Chris says I’m not old. He’s right, of course, but I am quite vain. I’m also irritated I have freckles I didn’t used to have. It’s like they just popped up overnight. I’ll be going to Ulta and buying some skin bleach this evening… But I also want to go to a dermatologist… I don’t like new things popping up on my skin. Had skin cancer once… not about doing it again.

Speaking of the weekend, I had a lovely one.

Friday night Chris and I went to Parker to see 90% 90s play a new venue. It was a riot. It’s a cute little bar made out what was obviously a garage at one point. The drinks were cheap but strong, and the demographic was older… like 50+. Watching those people boogie down to No Diggity and Waterfalls was hysterical. They played a lot of classic rock, like AC/DC too. After some drinks we left around 1030, because Chris had to work in the morning. But we sang to Bon Jovi and hit Village Inn on the way back. It was nice.

Saturday I picked up Robyn and we went downtown for the Cinco de Mayo festival at Civic Center Park. I wore a skull print halter dress that I almost never wear, and a black tophat with a red silk rose and a cobweb veil down the back. I was adorable. I thought I’d feel out of place, but we kept seeing people dressed for the Denver Derby, so between their big ass hats and feathers, and the spoof outfits of Star Wars characters going to derby, I actually didn’t feel that out of place. Got a lot of compliments, too. We did a lap around the park, got some tacos, pet a cane corso that someone brought, then hit the train back home to hit some comic book shops for Free Comic Book Day. Scored a bunch of clearance graphic novels at 2nd & Charles. Had a great day with the bestie.

Saturday evening Addi wanted to come say hi after she and Chris took Koopa to the dog park by my place. She likes Bdo a lot, and Frankie. Things were fine, except that when I let Kyrie and Kira in she panicked. Full blown crying panic. She’s scared of Kira.

Now. Full disclosure: she should be. BUT I’ve gone to great lengths to make sure Kira is not threatening to her and that she hasn’t exhibited threats to Koopa or Chris. The only aggression she’s exhibited is barking, and I told her that when Kira barks she wants space. But this spoiled ass little girl starts bawling and yelling about keeping Kira away from her… and Kira didn’t even care that she was there, much less have interest in attacking her.

So… I told Addi that if she’s scared of Kira they had to leave, because this is Kira’s home. My goal was to make her suck it up a little bit. I get tired of all the things this child is scared of. It’s literally everything. I didn’t really expect Chris to load her and Koopa up to leave, though. I thought maybe he was mad at how I handled that situation… but it turns out he was just hungry and hadn’t planned on stopping by anyways. Lol.

Sunday I went to the grocery with mom, and then we came home and watched Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile on Netflix, because my mom knows I love serial killer stuff, and seeing Zac Efron as Ted Bundy was an interesting experience. It’s not REALLY about Bundy, though. It’s about his girlfriend, Liz, and what life is like when someone you love does terrible things. It was really good. During the movie mom made us pork chops with potatoes, which were bomb. And afterwards we watched Tom Segura and chatted and stuff.

I was supposed to go on a walk with Chris, Addi, Koopa, Bdo, and Kira, but it fell through. I was kind of glad, since my body still hurt from Saturday. My plan was that if Addi saw Kira more she’d be less scared, but also to talk to her about Kira and how Kira is super scared of things. Since Kira is scared, she barks, because she knows that barking tends to keep things she’s scared of away, and that she was scared of Addi. I thought maybe they could bond over being scared of everything or something. That’s honestly still the plan, but I think if Addi had freaked out on Sunday I’d have snapped at her instead of talked to her. So… better I got to rest.

And that brings us to today, and my age spot, and some new freckles, and my brand new fear of sunlight. YAY.

I’m stopping at Ulta for bleaching cream, and Kings for spf 50 sunscreen as well as trash bags and laundry soap… UGH I hate being an adult.

Diary Entry Epsilon Upsilon Theta Pi

Dear, dear diary, I wanna tell my secrets.
You’re the only one that I know will keep them.

Let’s see… what’s happened since Easter.

I went to my 6 week post op appointment, got cranked open and everything looks fine. I expected as much. I haven’t had any pain or anything in a couple weeks. I did ask her about the lingering fatigue, though. I feel like I’m always tired… But she just said I’m still healing inside, so maybe that’s it. I think it could also be dealing with my own hormones again. I’ve been on the Nuvaring so long that it was my normal. Now I have to deal with whatever my ovaries send out. It’s been annoying, but I’ve also been hella stressed, so it might NOT be my ovaries. Guess I’ll just see if it gets better. She did check my thyroid for abnormalities. As usual, it’s fine… which is good, but also disappointing. They can’t fix something if they can’t find it.

Friday night Chris had Amber babysit Addi so he could go with me to meet my cousin for dinner. I haven’t seen Ryan in like 15 years, and when he got offered a fully paid for vacation to Colorado for some book he wrote a story for (he got 3rd place) he jumped on the chance. I’d forgotten this, of course, and failed to properly plan. SO. I had them train into Union Station, and then Chris and I trained into Union Station. I met Ryan’s lovely wife of roughly 4 years, Colby, and we ventured out to explore.

Mostly we wandered around for a while, and then settled on BD’s Mongolian BBQ for dinner. I figured it was a safe bet, because you make your own stir fry, so everyone could get whatever they wanted. Over dinner we chatted. Ryan (33) grew up to be a librarian. I don’t know how that happened, but that’s what happened. Lol. He’s always liked to write, so I guess it suits him, really. I asked him about his brother, Jason, as he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 2015. I guess he’s currently in remission, but he’s not getting his hopes up too high, as he’s been in remission before and it just comes back. I wish there was something I could do for him and his wife, but Ryan donated marrow to him, so all we can hope is that he stays in remission. Colby (21) is a nursing student, and asked me about my surgery (because in my haste to explain why I sucked at planning I blurted out that I had had cancer). She’s actually very knowledgeable and explained to us why I had to shoot myself in the tummy with Lovenox instead of something like taking it orally. (I guess stomach acid breaks it down and makes it less effective.)

Now, if you, like I, have done the head math, you will have noticed my cousin is 12 years older than his lovely wife, and that they’ve been married for 4 years… I guess when she was 18 they literally ran off and got hitched. When I did that head math I just went, “well, Ryan, that’s a very southern age gap.” We are a southern family, to be fair. My mom was 13 years older than my dad, got an aunt 15 years younger than her husband, got an aunt 20 years older than her hubster… you get it. I, personally, always found those age gaps gross and weird, but to each their own. Ryan and Colby are happy, and they’re a cute couple, and both sides of the family are on board with it. So, whatever two consenting adults do is their business. Lol.

After dinner, we headed over to the Dairy Block and got ice cream, trying to show them around my favorite part of LoDo, and then it was time to go home. I told them to come back any time, and they said to let them know if we ever wind up in Georgia. Lol. Ryan, being some of the only family I like, was a real treat, and I was really glad to see them.

Amber and Addi had a great time. Amber even did Addi’s makeup, which Addi loved. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous. I’m not… great with kids… or Addi. I feel like I end up being a disciplinarian, because I tell her to behave. Other than that she likes my dogs, but I’m not 100% sure she really likes ME. She likes Amber, though. Amber is a really real life cartoon character that likes art. What more could you ask for in a babysitter? I wish I had that kind of… knack for children. I’m working on it… I’m just not… great at it.

Addi was supposed to go to her mom’s for the weekend, but had a birthday party in Aurora on Saturday afternoon that she REALLY wanted to go to… and she doesn’t have a lot of friends, so Chris thought it might be good for her. Meanwhile, Chris worked Saturday, and I went to meet my new boss lady.

MH is a lot closer to home, but it’s no high end dealer. That being said, I really liked the layout. It’s a small showroom sitting on a large plot of land. Actually, there’s multiple buildings, and it’s under construction for a remodel, so who knows what it’ll look like when they’re done. It’s… no Mercedes dealer, though. I felt very out of my element as a Mercedes employee for 13 years.

I met new boss lady. She’s actually really nice, it seems. She showed me the office. It looks like an office. She did say no green hair, so I’m thinking wine tones next color?

Honestly, it went great, and they’re gonna pay 75k-ish (based on gross) instead of the 70k I asked for. But seeing the place and meeting boss lady and everything made it so real… and I’ve been having panic attacks ever since. I had one today, even. Just thinking about… It’s bad. I know it’ll be okay, but right now it’s really not.

With Addi gone to her mom’s, Chris and Koopa came over. We played some video games and watched some stand up, and went to bed. Sunday morning we got up and after hanging out in bed till like 11, we invited Billie & Aaron to brunch at our Jewish deli. They came! It was great. Afterwards Chris and I went to Goodwill, cuz it was there, and got some random stuff. He found Addi a Five Nights At Freddy’s backpack, and I got some teacups from Japan, and we both got books… because books. It was just genuinely fun. Then we came home and played more Resident Evil.

This weekend I’m taking Addi to some comic shops for free comic book day, since Chris works. I’ll let you know how that goes. I tried to wrangle Sarah or Bren & Shaunna into coming and bringing THEIR spawn, but I ended up with Bird… who loves kids and comics and will prolly outshine me with Addi. Lol. But that’s okay. I’m excited.

Might grab pho with Billie & Aaron Sunday. Might see Endgame. Might sleep. Who knows.

Easter

It was a pretty eventful weekend.

Friday night I didn’t do much… I tend to not do much when I’m home alone at night. I worked on a logo design I’m doing for my friend’s pretzels… that was about it. I waited up, though, because since Chris closed I asked if he could come over for the night. His mom said that was fine, since Addi would be asleep. I just needed some adult Chris time. We watched 2 episodes of The Orville and went to bed. It doesn’t sound like much, but it was. I just like having him around, ya know?

After Chris left Saturday morning, Mom called. We had plans. So we went to lunch at Ted’s, because Mom is on a bison kick. Then we walked the mall for a bit. I found some Easter stuff for Addi and Mom found some jewelry. Then we went for out hair cut. After that we went to TJ Maxx because I needed a new pan, but I ended up with WAY more than that, because I have a problem. We did NOT go into Michael’s, thank god. I debated going to Chris’ after we got home, but I was so tired I ended up accidentally napping from 630pm to about 930pm… and you’d think I’d be up all night after that, but I was definitely not. Went right back to sleep after I texted with Chris a little bit.

Sunday I slept in… I really gotta talk to my doc about this lingering fatigue thing tomorrow… and then Mom and I went grocery shopping and grabbed lunch before the movie. We went to see The Curse of La Llorona with Robyn & Chris. It wasn’t bad. It got Robyn a couple of times. Lol. That was also when Chris invited me to Easter dinner at his house… which I didn’t really wanna go to, but I did because he wanted me there.

So I get there and Addi answers the door, so I gave her the stuff the Easter Bunny left at my house for her. It cracked me up, because she’s such a spoiled brat. She pulls out the Unicorn Poop slime, and the Unicorn headphones, and is trying desperately to find more in the Unicorn Backpack… she’s like, “I think there’s more…” And I’m like, “search away kid, I just delivered what was left.” Aside from that, she was very excited with her Easter gifts.

The whole family was there: Mom, Dad, Chris, Sister, and even the gay Brother. It was fun to see them all together. They also had 3 people from church, who I’ve met several times but they never remember who I am. Lol. It was a lot of fun to see Chris with his siblings. It’s obvious that Sister and Younger Bro are close, but it was still cute. I expected a less outwardly gay brother, based on what I knew of the family, but he’s pretty outwardly gay. Lol. Not as flamboyant as some gay men, but there’s no question about it. I liked him. He’s funny.

Chris and I were playing Lucidity, when I hear and saw Addi go out front. She was playing with a basketball. A little while later, we went out to grab her and she was gone. It was terrifying… for me. Chris kept his cool and went down the street to collect her. She was crying and he was trying to explain why leaving the house without telling anyone at all is dangerous. She wanted to argue about it, and I was behind them… so I ran up behind her, put her under my arm, ran to my car and tossed her in and was like, “I could drive off before anyone even heard you scream.” She started crying again, but I feel like she got the point. Personally, I prolly woulda given her a smack on the butt for it, but I guess he thought me traumatizing her was enough.

Later, after dinner and after we put her to bed, Chris and I were talking about it and I was like, “I think I would have been a good parent, to be honest.” And he agreed, but then he said, “I think you will be.” He’s really excited to move in with me. Lol. It’s a nice feeling.

Speaking of dinner… there was pork, lamb, two kinds of stuffed chicken, twice baked potatoes, black olives, tomato and mozzarella salad, rolls, croissants, and the list goes on. I definitely did not leave hungry, and it was all very good food. I ended up having a pretty good time with them.

Anyways, that was Easter. I think I’m gonna make Chris celebrate Ostara with me next year… Addi would prolly like it, too. I’m excited to have Chris and Koopa all weekend this coming weekend. We’re gonna do a game night with Robyn & Dom, since Amber & Rob are going to Starfest all weekend. It should be fun, I think. Also, I go to my new job Saturday to talk to the GM and my new boss. That should be… that whole thing has been a clusterfuck, but I’m trying really hard to stay positive about it….

Exhaustion

It’s been an eventful week.

Monday, I had a panic attack because of my upcoming career move… there’s a whole entry about that, though.

Tuesday, Chris and I took the girls to see Shazam. It was great, but those three are a mess. First, Brin wanted to sit next to me, which is cool. Chris vetoed that because HE wanted to sit next to me. I was like, “dude, if she wants to sit next to me she can.”  But he ended up sitting next to me since I was on the end of the row. I considered moving so she could sit on my other side, but I didn’t feel like having the conversation in which Addi would prolly throw a fit. As it was, Addi tried to throw a fit when the waitress came, because Brin ordered her iced tea before Addi could order her food. She was wrenching up her face and pointing (literally) a tiny accusatory finger at Brin, and I just said in the most solid voice I’ve ever used, “ADDISON. TELL THE WOMAN WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT AND DRINK.” And she did. o we dodged that stray bullet… But, Addi’s jealousy doesn’t stop there. Oh no. In the middle of the movie, she got out of her seat and crawled in Chris’ lap, which is fine, but she also told him he wasn’t allowed to hold my hand… to which I was glad he told her he was gonna do it anyways. After the movie, she also wanted to ban us from kissing. I guess that’s fair, since I am jealous of the fact she has a good dad… Lol.

We were supposed to do laser tag, but Chris didn’t get it planned in time, so instead we took the girls to Casa Bonita. The most amusing part of that, for me, was definitely Brin’s complete lack of knowledge of Mexican food and the Spanish language. I guess Mexican isn’t as prevalent in Wyoming as here in Denver.

The ride there should have been a good omen for the visit. Addison got mad at me and Brin, because Addi kept picking at a scab on her arm… and I told her to stop, or it’ll get infected, and once gangrene sets in all that’s left is to amputate or you’ll die. (I am dramatic, I know.) So then Brin and I were talking about divvying up Addi’s stuff when she dies of gangrene, and Addi started crying because we were “taking [her] stuff.” I was like, “Nothing actually happened… calm down.” She was miffed by that, but then her and Brin got into a chopping war and were giggling and having a good time, so she let it go.

Both the girls had a lot of fun at Casa Bonita. It IS kind of a child wonderland. Addi was obsessed with the diver, who I chatted with a lot. His name is Anthony and he’s a gymnast and he’s hella nice. Then she chased the gorilla when it ran around the restaurant. There’s something hilarious about a man in a gorilla outfit being chased by a woman with a large net, and then Addi just tailing them through the restaurant. She also came and hauled Chris through Black Bart’s Cave, which apparently scared Brinley, because there were kids in there trying to scare each other. Brin, did not run around as much, but she did enjoy having Addi free time with her dad and myself, and when she did go explore she thought the arcade looked fun.

Oh, the arcade… this is where it all fell apart. So, they ran a special on tokens and I got both girls tokens. Admittedly, I got Brin twice as many, because she wanted to go to the arcade and Addi was still just lost in this restaurant harassing gorillas somewhere. Both girls went in and played games, then Addi decided to give Brin the rest of her tokens and run off again. Which was fine, really, except when it came to turning in tickets. At 5, Addi wasn’t great at games anyways, so she only had 13 tickets, and had run off leaving unused tokens with Brin (11), who figured out this Jackpot game and managed to get over 100 tickets. While Brin was turning in all the tickets and trying to figure out what she could get for Addi and herself, Chris went and found Addi, who then had a MELTDOWN about the tickets. Bless the college aged prize man, because when Addi hit the ground and started sobbing (to which I looked at Chris and said, “You should deal with that, DAD.”) he reached behind the counter and gave her a plastic ring that was worth 30 tickets at no cost to Brin. Brin got some little flying spinner thingy, and Addi continued to be miserable because she didn’t get… I dunno why she was still upset, really.

She was tired, I know that. It was after 9 when we left, and in spite her nap she was tired from running all over the damn place. She is also just jealous as fuck of Brin, which I get but don’t get. I get it because she’s 5 and she’s jealous of literally everything, but she also gets her dad full time and Brin doesn’t so I don’t get the spite. Anyways, we pass the free candy bowl and Addi steals a handful, because she’s 5 and 5 year olds suck. Then we go outside and she wants to use the giant fountain as a jungle gym because it’s not running yet. I had to shut that down, too. We got in the car and I hear this little voice say, “Sam, I didn’t have a good time.” So I turn around and she’s on the brink of tears and stuff, and I’m just like, “I’m sorry you didn’t have a good time watching divers and chasing gorillas and playing in a giant restaurant. I’ll never bring you back.” I would pay money to have her reaction to that on film, because we both know she had fun… but she’s unhappy and wants to say she didn’t and blame it on Brin. So she tries to push out some sentence about how Brin should have shared her tickets, and I was just honest with her. “Brin is 11. She’s better at games than you, and she won her tickets fair and square, and she’s not obligated to share them with you. As it is, you didn’t have enough tickets for anything and that nice man gave you a ring worth 30 tickets.” She didn’t have much of a response for that except to whimper ALL THE WAY HOME.

You know that whimper kids make when they don’t REALLY have anything to cry about, but they want you to be worried about their feelings? It was that. For an hour. All the way home. When we pulled up to my house I told Brin to let me know when she was coming back so I could make sure Chris and I planned a good time for her, and told Addi I’d see her later. After I closed the door I saw Addi wretch up her face to cry, which she apparently did all the way to their house. She only felt better after she told Chris’ dad about why she was upset. I found THAT hilarious, because half the time she hates HIM, too. But whatever. 5 year olds.

Spending that much time with Chris and his kids, I learned a few things.

First, Addison has been poorly parented up till now (by everyone in her life, it seems). She’s a spoiled rotten little narcissist that thinks crying is going to solve all her problems. As a result, she’s not really sure what to do with me, since I don’t respond to it like everyone else. I don’t negotiate and I don’t care if she screams and cries till she’s hoarse… I just tell her to do it somewhere I can’t hear it or to stop.

Secondly, I am 100% my mother when parenting. I don’t have time for kids to act a fool for no reason. I maintain my very dry sense of humor, and while I try not to overstep, since there are NOT my kids, I seem to have assumed the role of disciplinarian for Addi. I don’t punish her, but I don’t take her crap, and that seems really mean to her right now. I’m not thrilled about this, but if she’s gonna be in my life, we’re gonna have to deal with each other.

Lastly, Chris is more of a follower than I originally thought. For months it’s been in my head that he’s older than me (only by 3 years)  and so I can’t act childish or anything. Spending time with him and his kids has shown me that it really doesn’t matter, because he’s not going to think I’m childish… and even if he did, he likes not being so serious.

So… I’d say that while it’s exhausting it was a good week.

p4n1c!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???

Here’s what happened.

  • Todd = My soon to be new boss & controller
  • Cathy = Controller at a different sister store
  • Linda = Controller before Todd

So Todd is friends with Cathy. Todd got canned this morning and called Cathy to tell her that, as well as that Linda is coming back. So Linda is now going to be my new boss next month.

A, What the actual fuck is happening with this store I’m supposed to be going to?

2, What if Linda doesn’t want me there and just finds a way to get me canned?

D, I knew what I was into with Todd… with Linda, who is a great controller with lots of experience, BUT… like I have no idea what I’m in for with her.

So. I’m having a panic attack. That’s cool.