Let’s Jump Right In

I turned 25 on Halloween, and, well, turning 25 has not been easy on me. At the beginning of October, when I realized my birthday was fast-approaching, I lost my shit about it… because, for whatever reason, I thought I’d have done more with my life by now. In my ideal life, that I created when I was 14 and still full of hope, I was supposed to be married at 24, and I was supposed to start having kids at 26. I was supposed to have a nice sized home, a job I enjoyed and some kind of awesome husband person. Life, as you probably know, doesn’t work out like that, though. So, I looked around at my life and had a weird freak out of a panic attack for a month… I did make some good decisions, though, and some good realizations.

A, I decided to lose 129 lbs. If that sounds like a lot, it’s because it IS a lot. That’s a whole person. It just needs to happen. I’ve been the fat girl my whole life, and I’m sick of it… So I’ve been dieting. I haven’t found something to do for exercise yet… cuz I hate exercise…

2, I realized that I’m NOT doing badly for 25. I own a house, I have a job that can pay a real mortgage, I can support four dogs and a cat, I have a college degree, and even with my irresponsible spending habits, I am never really broke. That’s REALLY good for a 25 year old in this day and age. I have friends still living with parents, making minimum wage, unemployed, never attended college, and incapable of supporting any other living being. If something stupid happened and I got knocked up right now, I could afford an abortion or to take care the infant. I am doing damn well.

and D, I figured out that I can’t really freak out when I never really had goals in the first place. My list of life achievements: high school diploma, college degree, own a home, steady job. I didn’t come up with any of those. They were things that my mom wanted for me and either pushed me to get or got for me. If I were left up to my own devices, I’d probably be homeless just so I didn’t have to work… I am a lazy fuck. I’ve never had a personal goal in my life… so I started small and vain, with my weight loss plan, and I intend on kind of working up from here… Make a bucket list or something…

So, that’s about where I am…
Here are some stories from my 25th year.


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