Sometimes I Wonder…

…am I the only person that has this problem?
And then I think, “No, I can’t possibly be the ONLY person without close friends or family to talk to about things.”
And then I realize… I might be…

I mean, maybe not. Maybe we, the lonely and emotionally closed off from the rest of the world, are legion! And there are people out there facing the same things I do everyday, in regards to having no one to talk anything over with and no one I trust to understand. That might be a thing. I don’t know. Realistically if we WERE legion and this was a commonplace thing, I still wouldn’t know about it, because none of us would talk to each other, either. So we all just suffer in silence, pondering the same questions, never knowing that guy over there is pondering the same thing.

What’s my point?

So, I met a nice guy on a dating website.
He’s interesting, nice, relatively appealing on a visual level, so I’m excited. We’re supposed to get coffee on Sunday. Will we? I have no idea. What’s the protocol for communication in the days leading up to Sunday? No idea. What I do know is that he seemed to enjoy my personality. He seemed to enjoy similar things as I do. We seem to have good interpersonal chemistry. But he stopped messaging me last night and I don’t know how I’m supposed to initiate contact with him today. Say hi around lunch? Should I even contact him at all? I don’t fucking know. I’ve been single for two fucking years. I have no idea how to properly court someone.

So, in these kinds of situations, one turns to their best friends and close family to ask for advice, right?
No.
First… I don’t have family to ask. I have my mom, but I don’t really like talking to my mom about relationships… I dunno why, but it just makes me feel like jello.
Seconds… My two best friends, god love them, live under this notion that I’m a psycho… and that acting at all like me is not good. They are both, I FEEL, overly cautious when it comes to relationships.
So I ask them, when do I contact someone today? And they go, don’t. Just don’t. Wait for them to contact you.
Why. Why is that protocol? Because I don’t want to be the one that looks overzealous? I’m zealous. One of us is going to have to be zealous or we just won’t fucking talk again. That’s how the game works. The trick is to be zealous but not a psycho, which is what I’ve been training for my whole life, really.

Oh, and while I’m pretty alright with telling the out of state bestie about my adventures in dating, I’m not telling in state bestie jack shit. She… I don’t really know why we’re best friends. I mean, we are like complete opposites when it comes to any approach at life… If I can pull off getting a boyfriend and never introducing him to her, that would work for me. I don’t believe in mixing love with friends anyways. My friends don’t need to approve my love interest.

So, in lack of places to seek good advice, I’m winging it.
My strategy today, is to utilize SnapChat. I’m going to a show tonight. I invited new internet guy, but he’s going to see the new Hobbit movie, so… my plan is to send what LOOKS like a group snap tonight of me having fun at the show. I will probably actually be really bored, because I’m going alone, but it’s a way to initiate contact, late in the day, without it seeming like a big deal. It’s a perfect plan.

Still… it would be nice to get REAL advice from someone…
Like, I watched The Hobbit last night, because I had it and the guy was telling me how he love fantasy adventure and LoTR and how he’s excited to see the new Hobbit movie tonight… and I’m like, okay, well I was meaning to watch it anyways… and I’d like to tell him I watched it and what I thought of the movie compared to the book, etc… but does that seem like I went out of my way to watch The Hobbit so I could get up and message him about it this morning? I dunno. Maybe. I would find that flattering, but I guess other people think that’s sketch?

So… stick to what I know, I guess.

Updates to come. Stay tuned.

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