This weekend was weird.
Friday night, for whatever reason, I was hellbent on getting drunk. It’s been an exhausting week, what with our title clerk leaving and me having to learn her job, so I guess I was just feeling the stress. But, after $52 worth of vodka, I found someone interesting.
Maybe it was the vodka. Maybe I just liked his taste in karaoke choices. I dunno, but he was interesting.
So we chatted for a bit. Then we made out for a bit. Then he followed me home, and walked me inside.
So I went to let Kira out of her kennel, and tripped over Kyrie and bashed my face into a bookcase. It was not graceful and I ended up laying face down on the floor until this guy asked if I was ok. If he hadn’t asked, I would have probably woken up on the floor in the morning. I was drunk, seeing stars, and flirting with unconsciousness. His voice, however, reminded me of his presence. So I jumped up and ignored my throbbing head.
He was nice. He was concerned. He helped me upstairs to bed, and we made out and he staid the night. It wasn’t romantic, or sexy, or anything, but it was really nice. I hadn’t been close with someone in over a year. When he left in the morning, he left his hat.
We had plans that evening for a show. Just my friends playing shitty 90s covers. It’s fun. We laugh. The guys talk to me during their breaks. I thought it would be fun since this guy was also in a band. He’d agreed to pick me up at 820, because I told him 830 and like me, he thought that being early is better. I liked that about him. Around five he was texting me about his band practice. It was going to run late… So I agreed to meet him at the show.
That was the last I heard of him. He never showed up.
Now, he wasn’t the most attractive man, ever. He was pudgy, with a baby face, and the potential for neck beard. He didn’t make me question my asexuality. I didn’t even think I wanted to date him or something, and I’m pretty sure that I’m aromantic, anyway. Still, being stood up, for the second time in my life, is upsetting. It’s only recently that this has started happening to me and both times I kind of wanted to die over it.
So if you don’t want to fuck someone, and you don’t want to date them, but you’re still upset and hurt they stood you up…, what are you feeling?
I HAVE NO MOTHERFUCKING IDEA. But whatever it is, it’s fucking awful.