My Version of the 10 Commandments

So I was discussing the commandments.

I grew Catholic.While I find Catholicism quite interesting, I reached a point in my life where I just didn’t care for the actual practice. Catholicism is interesting because it’s old, corrupt, and full of secrets. It’s essentially the Illuminati. If you give me a book on all the weird stuff that the Catholic church has done, I will read it with zealous. If you want me to visit the Cathedral at Burgos (which I’ve already done one) I will totally go. If you want me to attend mass, I’ll go but I will be pretty bored unless the priests have gotten better at relating to people (possible, but unlikely).

I am an apatheist. Even if you prove to me, definitively, that there is or is not a god, my behavior isn’t going to change. I’m not a bad person. I’m very empathetic toward children and animals. I don’t kill or steal, because that would be a shitty thing to do. I have a moral compass that I live by instead of trying to please a god that won’t speak to me. I’m sure if there is a god he’s very busy, and it helps for people to govern themselves. If there isn’t a god, it doesn’t give you the right to be a fuckhead. That’s all there is to my moral compass. DON’T BE A FUCKHEAD.

So, we were discussing the commandments, my friend and I, and I don’t think they’re a bad kind of thing. I’ve seen all kinds of interpretations of them, and they really just boil down to common sense.

Keeping the Sabbath changes days in different religions, and what keeping it means DEFINITELY changes. I mean some sects of Judaism won’t even let you cook that day. You can literally do like… nothing. Then there are the Catholics that load up and go to church, probably stop by the confessional… Catholics like confession. We can do almost anything and then tell a priest, and it’s like we wiped the slate clean for the week. I never liked confession, myself. My personal sins are my cross to bear and I don’t feel like a priest can tell me that I’m absolved.

But I digress. I present to you my personal interpretation of the commandments. They’re based in my apatheism, but I don’t think a more religious connotation would invalidate any of these. So there ya go…

My commandments:

1. Stick to your personal beliefs and let everyone else do the same; everyone believes things and so long as it’s not hurting anyone it doesn’t matter.

2. Don’t worship objects; they’re just objects. Your PS4 is cool, but if you had to you could live without it.

3. Curb you cursing; not everything deserves the phrase “god fucking damn it all to shit.” I’d like to add that this implies you should get a more extensive vocabulary to express your feelings.  You’re not “fucking sad,” you’re  despondent. Instead of “god fuck fuck shit jesus christ shit in your mouth this sucks” say something like “fuck, this is archaic and repugnant, and all around lugubrious.”

4. Remember to take a day just for you; life is hard and you deserve personal time.

5. Your parents are doing what they can; respect them within reason, because they’re just people and they they’re doing their best with what they know. If your parent is truly execrable, I encourage you to try to understand why they are that way, even if you can’t muster actual respect for them.
Personally my dad is a dipsomaniac with a penchant for drug use, and while I don’t respect him, I understand that his childhood around similar people groomed him to be that way. We don’t talk anymore, but I made a point to understand whyyyyyyyyy he’s that way.

6. Don’t kill; also don’t main, cuz that’s a dick move.

7. Don’t be a cheating whore; if you’re not into your relationship just leave it.

8. Don’t steal shit; earn it or better yourself so that you can earn it. If you’re starving to  death, I don’t think swiping some bread makes you a bad person so long as you’re actively trying to get out of that situation.
Nothing changes if you don’t try to change it.

9. Don’t talk shit about other people; people have enough problems without you being a deceitful asshat.

10. If you want what someone else has,  find a way to earn it instead of focusing on what they have that you don’t.

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