Three days in, and it’s not… a GREAT year… but I guess it could be worse, so I’m trying not to be down about it. Which is hard.
Friday we got news that after attending a New Year’s Eve party, the guy in service that I had a crush on went home and shot himself in his bedroom. He was too young for me, early 20s, and still lived at home. He was a sweet guy, though. He was helpful, organized, seemed happy. I guess looks can be deceiving.
Like any death, it’s weird for me to know that I won’t see him again. I also wonder what would have happened if I’d actually asked him out or something. Of course, you can’t change the past, so I try not to dwell.
Other than that, it was pretty okay day at work.
I have failed being vegan for two days in a row, now. I tried really hard yesterday, but we ordered lunch, and my veggie calzone had ricotta in it. I shrugged that off. This morning, I just plain forgot that I was trying to be vegan and got a steak, egg white, and cheese flatbread from Subway… so… Fucked up. Whatever. I’m not gonna beat myself up about it. Gonna try to just do vegetarian… vegan would be nice, but I just don’t have the TIME to cook for myself all the time. Bought stuff for wraps this week…. so hopefully no more meat mess ups.
Yesterday, my aunt, on my dad’s side, posted a picture of my dad, herself, and someone named Grandma Jo. I think I met Grandma Jo the one time that my dad took me to meet his family. There was also a Grandma Blue, who is probably dead now. I only met them all the one time. I didn’t really even know WHO I was meeting.
Still, the picture think about my family that I don’t talk to…
So I did the adult thing and stalked them on Facebook. I snagged a bunch of pictures off them off their pages, and honestly I feel better now.
Now I’m making vegan meatballs… and eating giant marshmallows.
So it hasn’t been great, but it’s not too bad, either.