I like the IDEA of you….

Stupid Question: How do you know if you actually like a person?

Is it just me? Sometimes I don’t like people, but I like the IDEA of them.
I actually used that to break up with a guy once and he’s used it to break up with every girlfriend since. I don’t know that he really understood the concept, though.

Let me give you an example:
Envision this guy. He’s a European artist. He gets into politics with a genuine dream to make his country the best it could be. This person holds anti-smoking campaigns, pushes for laws against animal cruelty, is a vegetarian, is nominated for the Noble Peace Prize, becomes Time Magazine’s Man of the Year, gains a winning bid for the Summer Olympics for his country, and is really into “the old west.”

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Literally, this is Hitler.
Everything I just described are fun facts about Hitler.

I bet that if Hitler hadn’t gone all whackadoo he would have prolly been a pretty nice guy. What’s really scary about that realization, is that Hitler was just a dude. A seemingly normal dude that managed to go down in infamy for mass genocide and a dictatorship that people still reference.
Just a dude… liked kids… thought he was doing the right thing.
That’s scary as fuck.

My point is that on paper Hitler sounds like a fantastic person. Obviously… when you factor in the mass genocide and stuff, not such a great guy.

On a significantly less dramatic scale, this happens to me with friends. Everyone has had two friends and thought to yourself, “These are essentially the same person. I bet they’d get along great!” But when they are introduced, they inevitably hate each other. They have the same interests, the same hobbies, they both like you… and they fucking hate each other.
This is the essence of liking the idea of a person without liking them at all.

I don’t know if I really like SupaNerd or if I just like the idea of him and therefore WANT to like him.On paper he’s great. He likes Steven Universe, scifi, comic books, video games, cars, and rock shows. He has a really good job. He doesn’t have any correlation to any of my friends so he hasn’t unknowingly slept with any of them. He’s not poly (poly people love me… I don’t know why… but I hate sharing). He likes me. He’s not real pushy.

Our first date was great. I was also full of Guinness, though.
Our second date was awkward and a little lack-luster, but good.
Then he accidentally stood me up, and I was upset.
Then he had to cancel the make-up date because of work.
Then he ignored me for a month, and I was confused and kinda hurt.
Then he popped up out of nowhere and we have the best worst date, ever.
And then I wasn’t excited to see him the next day… but I did… and it was meh.
Then wanted to see me like everyday after, and it put me off because I’m a hermit.
I had to cancel last night because I had a small emotional breakdown.
And like… I invited him out tonight, but do I really want to see him?

I legitimately don’t know if I want to see him. In theory I do. In theory, he’s great and I should be so lucky to find someone with similar interests and a complete disregard for all the borderline threatening things I accidentally say. In practice, I kind of just want to go back to no one having any kind of interest in me at all. I like when he texts me. I like that he likes me. I like that he points out when I say something serial killery and laughs. I like that he wanted to walk around downtown with me in the cold. I like that he saved me from an elevator. I like that he danced with me on our first date. I like that he was so embarrassed for me to see his house because it was messy.

I just… don’t know if that’s liking HIM, or just those moments and characteristics.

It’s a weird feeling.

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