I’ve done the math… and I am fucked.

Firstly, I took this position without really knowing the details. I didn’t want to take the position without knowing the details, but my boss man isn’t great at knowing the details. I took the chance based on the idea that this was a great opportunity for me…. So I took it and hoped for the best. At least it was different. At least it was something besides titles.

Secondly, I bought a car for two reasons. One, because I drive myself to work everyday now. Two, I thought I’d be making enough to cover that. I love my car. I named her Gaz, the Rav4. I still love Topo, the Jeep. We kept her, because has no trade in value, but she’s definitely not worthless. She’s now the designated dog-transport vehicle, and I try to drive her on the weekends.

I just got paid today. I have exactly $94 to get me through to the 20th. That’s for gasoline, entertainment, groceries…
Fortunately, I use mid-grade fuel and so it gets me farther than unleaded, but it’s not cheap and I’d estimate I need like $50 for that… fortunately I have no social life, but I’m supposed to buy something when I go to a friend’s for dinner on Friday (but he’s sober so at least it’s not booze)… fortunately I can live on the contents of my house for a while and that I have a strange affection for ramen (I have a propensity not to really eat real food at this point, anyways)…
Unfortunately, I have four dogs and a cat… and Bdo gets special dental food so I don’t have to have his teeth ripped out… so that’s a good $17, and a bag of reg food for everyone else is like $14… So I’ve spent $81 metaphorically in my head already…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I can make this budget work… but it’s going to be tight and terrible. It would be better if I didn’t have so much credit card debt, but I do. I cant’ tell my mom about that, of course, because I don’t want a lecture on my poor financial skills. I’m aware of them… but I don’t get the luxury of them anymore or we are going to starve. Ain’t that nice? Kinda. Maybe I will finally get out of debt.

This position is also terrible. I mean, no, it’s not terrible, but it’s not what I thought it would be. It’s been very stressful. I’ve often cried all the way home from work, and I’ve stopped eating lunches all together, which is a combination that’s lead to lots of binge eating. We all know how I feel after binge eating!

I’m just tired of crying… and this thing where I’m incredibly broke now is NOT GOOD.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s