Easter Weekend: Trying to Be a People

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Last week sucked. It sucked hard.

I was very low Monday after my pharmaceutical FIASCO. Tuesday… I was weirdly better. It’s a trend I’ve noticed, that when I hit rock bottom I tend to be better, because apathy kicks in. The less I care, the happy I often am, but it’s not a cure all. The rest of the week was still a struggle. I was still down, having had all my hopes and dreams of feeling better dashed to the ground, and spit on, and kicked by Kaiser Permanente,but the weekend was a pleasant relief.

I was unusually social.

Friday I went to David 2’s to watch RuPaul and Martha & Snoop. HOW DID WE MISS THE RETURN OF MARTHA & SNOOP? We still don’t know, but we’re happy to catch up. I worry about David 2, because he has a substance abuse problem. It seems that every weekend he has to get as drunk and high as humanly possible. While I’m not hating on people that like to get twisted, I feel like it’s not a good thing to need that every weekend… and high as a kite every single night. That’s my dad. That’s exactly how my dad is. Oddly enough… all three of us (David 2, myself, and dad) are all bipolar… I hope I don’t ever fall into that habit. I had fun, though. We shared music and watched TV and microwaved Peeps in honor of Easter!

​(This is not our picture… We microwaved one on a paper towel, and then a whole box of them… but like… I needed a melty peep pic… I needed it.)

Saturday Mothership and I got our hair done. I whacked all mine off. It’s pretty normally colored, though. Got some rose gold and pinks for spring. It’s cute, and there’s nothing better than whacking off your hair when you’re having an emotional crisis. I convinced Mothership to whack hers off, too. She looks younger with a cut closer to her head.

Afterwards, I took her to Ulta, because I wanted lip plumper. I like lip plumper. I like when it hurts. I got Buxom, if you’re curious. The shade is Samantha. While we were there, however, they were doing free makeovers for spring. I did not get a makeover… I have a certain look that I do, and I don’t like people trying things with my look. BUT these were older women, and they noticed Mothership’s eyebrow situation… as in, she has none. I convinced her to let this woman show her how easy it is to pencil on eyebrows. It really is easy. She ended up getting the box the chick used, and some cream to bleach her dark spots.

Meanwhile… I discovered Nyx.

I’ve been a pretty loyal Smashbox girl for years, but it’s so expensive. Nyx is pretty cheap… and the COLORS are amazing. I conned myself into some ridiculously colored lipsticks, eyeliner, and even a contour kit… I’m not great at contouring yet, but I’m working on it. I figured that going back to putting on makeup in the morning would help me feel more like a person… and since I’m still so depressed that it’s hard for me to even shower regularly, figured I’d take it up a notch… because why not make it harder?

#TryingToBeAPeople

I’m trying to figure out contouring, too.

I went to see Missa Saturday afternoon. I gave her a box of painting supplies. I’m trying to ween myself off having SO MANY hobbies, because it takes up room. So I gave her all that, and now I just gotten figure out who to unload my yarn on. She was happy to see me, which was weird for me… I don’t have a lot of confidence in most people actually liking me. She invited me to hang out for a couple of hours and we just caught up. Then Lola came home and we talked about her starting a makeup channel on YouTube. I told her that I’d love to help, even if she just wants to put stuff all over my face. Much to my surprise, she messaged me this morning to make plans for Thursday. So… it’s weird, but good.

When I got done at the Polygon (literally we call it that because a ton of poly people just move in and out of there all the time, with Lola, Rhonda, and Missa being the constants), I zipped out to Lakewood to see Bren. Shaunna got off work early, and we all ate ribs and hung out, and I kicked Bren’s ass twice in Star Realms. Lol. It was a good time. I really enjoyed the socializing.

Sunday was Easter! We did nothing.

Well, that’s not true… Mom got me a dark chocolate bunny, a small box of Russel Stover’s, and a bag of apple flavored gummy bears… and then we went to the grocery store, and I wasted the rest of the day with the dogs watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, Season 7. Lol.

I enjoyed doing nothing.

Tuesday is my phone call with the psychiatric nurse, and then I’m off until next Wednesday. So… Just gotta get through the current chaos…

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