I’m Going To Hell : Reason #752618452QHL

I really think 2017 is going to be my year, guys.

  • One of my friends is in a stale relationship with a person in another state that they refuses to actually care about because out of state person has hurt my friend before, and out of state person is a super flake that is always a second from never seeing my friend again due to crippling depression
  • One of my friends had a significant other of over 5 years pack up all their shit and leave on Christmas Day… also, the ex is moving to Texas, where all of my friend’s other exes happen to live… my friend is literally a George Strait country song
  • My ex best friend, who totally cut me off because their significant other (turned spouse) didn’t like me, had lost a whole lot of weight on a very strict diet and exercise routine the significant other put her on… and while cyber stalking the ex-bestie I discovered that they have gained ALL their weight back… and that weight brought friends… lots of friends
  • One of my friends has been in so many short-lived, shot relationships that they’ve entered the phase where they are just horrifically bitter about literally EVERYTHING having to do with the opposite sex
  • One of my best friends pretty much doesn’t seem to care if I’m alive or dead
  • The person I see the most is so busy being caught up in trying to escape from their mental illness through escapism, that they can’t comprehend how much Mary Jane they’re smoking, so they are circling the metaphorical drain of anything resembling sobriety and I’ll have to figure out how to get away from them soon
  • One of my best friends is getting married to the person they’ve been with for like eight years

Aside from the wedding, none of these are good, obviously.

Here’s the thing, though… I tend to float when everyone around me drowns.
I don’t know why, but it’s a thing that’s been a pretty good constant in my life.

Of course, I want to see the people around me doing well. I want them to be happy, healthy, and all around prosperous. I want them to be happy single or in a good relationship. I want them to be happy with their bodies or on a road to betterment. I want them to do well in their careers or not be afraid to try a new path in life. I want nothing but good things for my friends, really.

Still, it’s a documented record of correlation that when everyone around me is dropping out of the sky, crashing and burning, with no hope for pulling themselves out of a tail spin… The sky becomes my new limit in life. So, with everyone else’s lives falling apart in a very sitcom cliche kind of way, I feel like everything for me has to get better.

Maybe this year I’ll really get into the gym again, and get down to that round 200 lb goal I have. Maybe this year I’ll find someone that I really want to spend time with and we’ll flourish into something substantial. Maybe this year I’ll manage to get my graphic design business off the ground and be able to quit my job and work from home. Maybe this year I’ll get to buy a new house that isn’t falling apart. Maybe this will really be my year!

I don’t really know, but to be honest the more friends I have whose lives crumble into little itty bitty pieces of destruction, the brighter my outlook on 2017 becomes.

I know that’s shitty.

Here’s the thing, though. Even if I weren’t taking all of this as a good omen for myself, I’m still not broken up about any of this.

  • If my friend doesn’t want to put commitment into a relationship, they can’t expect to get that back from someone… especially someone with crippling depression
  • My friend spent the first year of their relationship trying to scare the (now) ex off… it took time, but the refusal to let their ex behind their wall of defense was bound to have repercussions eventually
  • When you have a baby, your body changes… my ex best friend came from large people… being large was inevitable without really close care
  • When someone sets themselves up with shitty people, constantly, it’s going to jade them… my friend just scarred their own heart by insisting on dating trashy people
  • People move away… they forget who mattered to them before
  • Mental Illness is a helluva thing, and if you don’t take the care seriously it can turn on you… yeah, pot doesn’t cause interactions with medications, but escapism is still escapism… and it’s still a problem
  • Weddings are not sad events…. this is the only legitimately good omen I have… and I’m real happy for both of them

I can’t say for sure that my life is going to get better because my friends’ lives are in shambles… I wouldn’t WANT that to be a definite thing. I’m just saying that I think I’m going to have a good 2017… and after this shit show that we called 2016, that’s not REALLY saying that much.