Mediocre Life Choices

So, it turned out I know how to ride the metaphorical bike that is doing the sex.

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The following entry is a brief recount of my date last night and the breaking of my over 700 day celibacy streak. It’s not going to be real graphic, but it’s gonna be kind of gross.

You’ve been warned.

So I’ve been talking to this guy via text for over a week. He’s nice, he’s funny, he doesn’t know what red eye gravy is, and while he’s overwhelmingly normal, he’s not a bad conversationalist. I was legit excited for our date. I got all prettied up and went out to meet him with high hopes of maybe finding a boyfriend person… like the fucking sap I am when no one is looking.

Let’s get one thing straight: He’d not a bad dude.

In person he’s still nice and funny; and while not as good in person, he’s still a decent conversationalist (I have no idea if that sentence was punctuated correctly and I’m too lazy to reword it). Everything was totally fine, until he went to the bathroom, came back and wanted to sit next to me instead of across from me. That was a red flag for me… needy red flag… Still, whatever. I invited him to go to an art show I was interested in, but it was a cash bar so we never made it there… Finding an ATM takes effort, and who the fuck carries cash anymore? As the night went on, though, I was bored of sitting in the bar. So we went back to his house.

We played a little Crash Bandicoot, and then put on Alien 3… and he kept wanting to cuddle. I know that it’s probably some daddy-issue related weirdness with me, but I just don’t really like cuddling. I thought maybe if I let him kiss me he’d stop trying so hard, but HIS MOUTH WAS ENORMOUS. Like, I also already know that I’m weird cuz I don’t really dig tongue in my mouth, but his mouth literally covered mine. My face was just wet. It wouldn’t have been if I was like, YAAAS GIMME DAT TONGUE, but I’m not that person, so I had a wet face. So I’m a lil grossed out about that, he still won’t stop trying to cuddle me into the sofa, so I just decided FUCK IT.

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So… the idea was get it done and get out. That’s worked in the past, and it doesn’t have an effect on whether I enjoy myself, it’s just a good bypass for cuddling… but that is not how this went down

I thought I’d had sex with a fat guy before… and after this experience, I had not, but I have now.

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FIRST OF ALL he was trying to be seductive, but he pinned me down to the sofa and the weight of his body hurt my lungs. Literally, I couldn’t breathe and his big ass mouth kept covering up my face, so I was real excited when he suggested the bedroom, but he continued to vaguely suffocate me between his enormous mouth and the weight of his body. But I’m a good person, and I’m a big girl, so I can overlook that, right?

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SECOND OF ALL, MOTHERFUCKERS, our bodies didn’t fit together. Have you ever tried to picture an atypical couple having sex? Like I had a friend who was under 5′ and like 120 soaking wet, and she was dating this 300 lb 6′ tall guy for a while, and I would wonder how they made that work… Well, not all bodies DO work. If this were the wild he’d be S.O.L. for mating with me, because his hips are wider than mine. So like, we managed a half-ass, very suffocative missionary for a while, but me on top was a bust, because I couldn’t get my legs around him and still have leverage to move, and doggie style didn’t work because his stomach got in the way. Fat men need to be very well hung to have sex easily,untitled.png I now know. The struggle for them is real.

TO FINISH THINGS OFF he’s a freaking bear. I got suffocated by a bear. I dunno that I’ve addressed this, but I have qualms with body hair. I try really hard not to, because to be honest I don’t really shave like 90% of the time, but my body hair is blonde, soft, and sparse. This guy’s body hair was none of those things… It was dark, coarse, and plentiful, and it just grossed me out a little. With everything else going on this was definitely the least of my problems and the easiest to overlook, but it was still a problem for me. I was so not into it.

BONUS NOTE It’s good to know that any guy will still blindly accept that I probably definitely totally for realsound like a hentai character when I’m having sex. (/s) I don’t, when I’m legit having fun, but I keep thinking as I get older someone will be like, you’re faking so hard right now, but they never do. Just blind acceptance all over the place.

TO BE CLEAR it wasn’t the worst date or sexual encounter I’ve ever had, but it falls very short of the best.

Here I was being so worried about my performance, I didn’t really consider someone else would have problems, or that would turn out like some terrible scene in a bad romantic comedy.

In conclusion, it was a mediocre life choice and not how I wanted to end my sexless streak. I shoulda waited to see if I could even deal with his touchy-feely nature, but I was in such a hurry to break my celibacy that I just jumped into it.

That’s also vaguely how I lost my virginity… overzealous and just wanting to get it over with more than anything.

I dunno that I’m still interested in the dude. He really wanted me to stay and cuddle and stuff, but I was real into going home… Gonna have to think real hard about this… Seems shitty to ditch someone because the sex isn’t good, but people do that, right?

I Forgot How to Ride a Bike (Also, Another Ex Got Married)

This week has sucked. Monday I had food poisoning. Tuesday I was just unable to focus. Wednesday I got my new crazy meds and they put me to sleep at work. All I can do is hope that it gets better from here… and it should… I have a good weekend planned, but then…

Woke up from a sex dream this morning, and I’ll spare you the raunchy details, but it gave me an idea. “Hey, I’ve got a date Saturday… and I’d like to get laid… maybe I could ask him if he’d like to go back to his place for dessert! YEA! INNUENDO!” That was immediately followed with meditating on the fact I’m pretty sure my generation has done away with the idea that sleeping with someone on the first date makes you a ho and——–“OMG I HAVEN’T HAD SEX SINCE SUMMER 2015… Do I even remember how to have sex?!”

So yeah. That’s real facts right there… I have no idea if I remember how to have sex. That’s a terrifying thought at 28. On the bright side, from this guy’s profile, he might not care. He’s really nice, too, so that’s helpful.

I feel like maybe a couple dates in I could probably be like, “Hey, so here’s my situation, but I’d like to bang you?” but my plan to be all spontaneous and shit might not be the best course of action, since I’d prolly have a panic attack and ruin everything.

My friends have attempted to reassure me… One just said sex isn’t that hard to do and it’ll come back to me… The other said it’s like riding a bike… Here’s the thing… Last time I tried to ride a bike, I realized I’ve forgotten how to ride a bike.

Blue Bike by Thomas Cummings

The bike is obviously a metaphor… I just… I’m not really comfortable with the whole idea of having to tell someone that. So don’t tell them. Okay, brain, but if I don’t tell them and I’m terrible in bed they’re gonna think I just go around being a bad lay, and I have been a lot of things in my life, but I haven’t been a bad lay since I was 14.

I’m sure honesty is the best policy, but it gives me wicked anxiety… cuz then they’re gonna ask why.

So why haven’t I had sex for so long? Well… to be honest I dunno.

I could say it was because the last time was so awful. If you didn’t read that entry, I SCARED THE LITERAL FUCK OUT OF A GUY who also turned out to be homeless. Who knew? I met him at a poly party. Those people aren’t usually homeless or easily scared.

I could say it’s because I’m asexual, which I still maintain is true, but it’s not why. For me sex is like going Elitches… sounds fun, but I’m gonna complain about getting hot and sweaty and being tired, and then if you can get me there I’ll never want to leave… cuz it’s fun.

I could say I’ve been celibate… I could say a lot of things, but at the end of the day I just haven’t been sexually attracted to anyone. Actually it’s not even that, it’s that I’ve been actually sexually repelled from people since then. I’m not picky about things like looks 9/10 times someone wants to get down or ask me on a date… but for the past two years I just haven’t been interested, and people expressing interest in me actually made me revolted.

I dunno what’s different now, but that guy I’m seeing Saturday just texted me good morning and I legit involuntarily smiled… FUCK. I don’t have time to have legit interest in someone… sigh… Still… I like that he texted. Lol.

IN OTHER NEWS! Vaunder got married. I don’t know that I’ve touched on Vaun a whole lot. He was an ex from when I was 17-18. He was an introverted gamer with a crazy family.

I had a good two years with him, and part of me thought we’d end up married, but the rest of me was in Manic Depressive hell, on trial and error drugs trying to stabilize my mood, suffering from Bulimia, and binge drinking so much I can’t even tell you who I slept with since Vaun didn’t come out with me.

I liked Vaun. He was a sweet guy that definitely deserved better. Now it looks like he has, and I’m super stoked for him, even though we haven’t spoken in like ten years. Lol. I went out and stalked him and found out they got married at Ren Fest last weekend (which I was also at…) I went snooping to get a picture, and here it is.

For the record he didn’t look like this when we dated 10 years ago. Lol. All my mom could say was, “that could’ve been you.” Honestly, I’m glad it’s not… we weren’t real compatible outside of a good sex life. Still, I’m glad he found someone. He deserved better than me, and it seems he found a really good one. So I hope they live happily ever after, just like the picture implies.

Idk… Fuck.

I went on a date last night. Last minute thing, but I’ve been talking to a guy for like a week and he asked to buy me a drink.

He’s not a really hot guy, but he’s an interesting nerd. I’m all about interesting nerds, you know. In particular, he like to RPG. That’s cool, cuz I always wanted to learn D&D stuff. Remember the robot boy that was supposed to teach me? I’m totes down to become more nerd.

Anyways, long story short, we hung out for like three hours and than I took him back to his apt, cuz it was close by and he ubered there. I was confused because not once did he touch me. No hand shake, no attempted kiss or hug… and I wasn’t sure if he didn’t like me or if he’s just hella respectful.

So I sent him https://inspirobot.me today, because errybawdie needs that in their life, and he takes that opportunity to explain that he’s in a long distance relationship with a girl who will be moving out her to him as soon as she can, but in the meantime they have an open relationship.

I’m not devastated, but I’m mad.

I wasn’t in love or anything, but I would kind of like to have sex again before I die… I don’t do poly, so that’s not a thing that’s going to happen. At the same time, I’m trying really hard not to be TOO mad, because I could use a new friend who’s interesting… but we met under such false pretense, and now I’m mad.

I know I’m asexual and aromantic, but like… I’m lonely and I’d like to have sex. I’m getting too close to 30 to be the girl that gets wasted and goes home with a stranger… but no one really wants to date me. I’m discouraged. I’m pissed off. I’m generally unhappy about all of this.

What’s wrong with me?

Virginity (Or The Lack Thereof)

There are so many things I wish I’d known before I lived.

I keep reading these articles that all have the same title:
“Things I Wish I’d Known Before Having Sex.”

I guess, for a lot of people, sex is a really big thing that happened in their lives. It marked the end of their childhood, or… something…

I have a hard time relating to people that see having sex for the first time as a really big major thing. To be honest, I don’t even remember the first time I had sex, except that the bleeding wouldn’t stop, which made me really scared and generally upset, and it turned out that was because I also got my first period that day. It was a big day for me all around.

The guy was not significant. He wasn’t my first boyfriend, and he wasn’t at all special, unless you count that about a month prior to me letting him stick in I told the school counselor that he was suicidal and got him thrown in the looney bin for a week. He was, literally, suicidal. He even detailed it out for me how he planned on doing it. Apparently, he had a lot of problems, because the counselor was aware of who he was and didn’t even flinch at the idea he might shoot himself. So…
I made such poor life choices in high school.

What did I wish I knew before I let a large half-Egyptian-half-Irishman violate me?

The articles address a lot of things I understand but can’t relate to, such as the concept of “losing” something by having sex. I never saw it that way, and even though no one had ever really told me that virginity was special or that having sex out of wedlock makes you less valuable as a person, I knew a lot of people that WERE told that. For me, having sex was just a thing that had to be done, and that most people did in high school. I wasn’t good at fitting in with my classmates, since I was a year younger than them all and completely lacked normal social skills. It was for this reason that I dove head first into having sex freshman year. I was 13 and historically a late bloomer, so I just got it out of the way. Was I ready for it? I dunno, prolly not, but I don’t think it left any lasting effects on my psyche.

They also tackle things like, “it wasn’t like the movies,” and “I thought we’d be together forever.” I’m consistently baffled by the number of people that really thought anything in life would ever be the way they thought it would be. I went into it knowing that A, it would prolly be gross and painful, 2, that we would NOT be together forever, and D, that it would probably be laughably short on top of not being very fun. I knew that. I’m a realist, and it lived up to every single one of my sad, sad expectations. It hurt, it was brief, he sweat a lot, and we broke up within the month. Honestly, he should have been a LITTLE better, since he was three years older than me and a giant fuckboy (man-slut, for those of you not up to date with the lingo). I would later find out just how terrible he was, along with how much worse he could have been.
I wonder if thinking about the past is this disappointing for everyone….?

Real talk: I wish I’d known that I was asexual before I had sex. I’d still prolly have had sex, because why not, but maybe I wouldn’t have spent the next decade plowing my way through everything with a pulse trying to figure out why sex was so boring to me.

It’s a little bit fitting that my first time was with a crazy person, seeing as how I was on the fast track to being crazy myself. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t upset when that relationship ended at the four month mark. I WAS an idiot 13 year old, after all. I don’t look back and miss or desire that terrible crap, though. Like, some people look back on their first time with fond memories, like making love on a blanket next to a lake, surrounded by the lights of fireflies at the end of summer… and then they had to return home from wherever they were, but they’ll never forget that night for the rest of their lives! Then there’s me. I just went through a period where I wanted a happy ending… and Hallmark slash Disney promised me that I could find those with a high school love. They are dirty, dirty liars. This is why I’m so fucking cynical.

None of my high school boyfriends were worth a damn. Actually, none of my boyfriends, short of the most recent (who I should make a post on, because there was really nothing at all wrong with him) were REALLY worth a damn if I’m honest with myself. A lot of my romantic and sex life is made up of me seeing a man (or woman) and my brain going, “Maybe that one can fill the gaping hole in your life where a sense of security and well-being should be.
Spoiler: They did not.

If you’re reading this, I’d love to hear what YOU wish you’d known before you had sex, or if you have a particularly lovely or horrible first time story, I’d also love to hear that.

Super Don’t

So I was talking to this guy on OkCupid back in November and December. He wasn’t really that interesting but these days I try to give everyone a proper shot. Our schedules never lined up for a real meeting, and then he went radio silent in mid-December.

I wasn’t about to lose over it. It’s not uncommon for internet conversations to die out.

About a month later, he sends me this at 9pm on a Wednesday:

“Hey, so we were talking and I enjoy chatting with you. The thing is I was…. I was curious if you remembered me. I thought maybe you did? Or maybe you would? We were already together. And by that I mean we dated slightly and had sex a couple of times. It was 7 yrs ago. I never forget a face. Especially a beautiful one lol. I immediately knew your name. I even remember basically where you use to live. As far as what happened? Idk your not sexual or you seem kind put off by everything then, and you just disappeared. I guess I’m telling you because I just wanted to be honest.”

So let’s start with, I super don’t remember this human being at all.
I drank a lot when I was 20. I also got around. The ages of 17 to about 23/24 are a blur of alcohol and dick. They all blur together and I don’t remember anyone in particular outside of the people I actually had a really real relationship with. I used to keep track, because when I get a pap-smear sometimes the nurse asks me how many partners I’ve had, and it’s always an awkward moment when the fat chick in the room just looks at you and says, “I dunno.” Once, when I was 18 she told me to count real quick and I was like… it’s over 30… do I tell her it’s over 30? I refuse to answer the question, now. I tell the nurse that I’ll discuss it with my doctor.

I don’t regret that, just to be clear.
I’m not ashamed in the least. If I were a dude I’d get a trophy for the amount of sex I’ve had in my life, but because I’m a chick it’s supposed to be shameful. Fuck that. I regret nothing. I was the queen of hit it and quit it. Mostly I used a lot of them for free food… but my ulterior motives don’t diminish my bitchin’ dick score.

Anyways.
I ended up being honest… I debated lying and pretending to remember, but I was worried he might ask follow up questions, and since that whole part of my life is just a blur, I would prolly fuck that up. I never lie if I doubt that I can follow through with it.

I asked him how we even met, trying to spark a memory… Just for the sake of remembering if he’s one of the ones that had a weird kink, or was really bad at sex, or maybe he was just boring as shit…
Apparently I picked him up at a club, proceeded to take him to a gay club, then took him home and after about a week I ghosted him.
I’m so class. (please note the sarcasm) Sounds like me, though!
I remember nothing.

So, obviously shit is different now… I’m an aromantic asexual that would rather punch you in the throat than let you get your dick near me. I don’t blame that on being over-sexed. It’s just who I am at the moment. Shit changes. People don’t changes, but everything else does.

He still wanted to talk to me, especially knowing that I wasn’t messing with him and seriously didn’t remember him. Apparently… I’m gorgeous. (duh). Also, I seem to have left a good impression in spite of being the female embodiment of every douche college guy that picks up girls in nightclubs. He remembers me as spunky, funny, Invader Zim loving chain smoker.

I guess that’s nice.

But he’s boring as shit…. I know that’s awful… but he is… he really is.

But… I shall try not to judge till I see him in person… whenever that might be, since he’s got a whack work schedule.

Why is this my life?

Totally Not My Business

So I’ve mentioned previously that I am friends with what I would call “An Inordinate Number of Poly People.”
Is it REALLY an inordinate number? I have no idea, but I know a lot of them.

Anyways, one of the primary couples are splitting up.

Of course, that’s none of my business, so I was excited to hear about it.

I don’t even understand how poly relationships really work, anyways, because even though I’m aromantic and asexual I am also a crazy possessive, jealous psycho. So the idea of sharing just doesn’t work with me. But, just because I don’t like relationships myself doesn’t mean I don’t like watching one deteriorate.

I never understood this couple, even if you remove the poly element. The guy is quiet, reserved, doesn’t like people to touch him, and doesn’t care for parties. He doesn’t say much in a crowd, and I have no idea how he’d manage to score multiple women, just because he’s so quiet. The girl is the opposite of that. She’s loud, outgoing, and tends to be too touchy-feely for my taste. I know that relationships aren’t for me to pick apart, but I never got this one.

A while back I was in a Facebook group for asexuality, because sometimes it’s nice to have that sense of community. I have since left, because communities are full of idiots, but before that the guy in this couple joined. He expressed surprise that I’m asexual and we chatted about it. He’s just coming around to the idea he probably is too, and he wanted to get together and talk about it sometime. I was not opposed, but we just never scheduled a time for it.

So when I saw that the girl was looking for a place to live, I had to ask why. The response was one of those big blocks of text you get when someone upset is telling you something. It breaks down to this:

  • Stuff’s been bad for a while
    • I already knew there was poly drama
  • He’s been trying to sabotage the relationship
    • Touches on that he’s autistic and depressed, but how that’s no excuse for his behavior
  • He wants to cuddle, but nothing sexual
    • She relates this to him just wanting a friend and not a relationship
  • He suggested them being “just friends” and how painful that was for her

Okay, so she’s equating love to sex. That bugs me, but I guess that’s how she sees it. Some people do. My mother doesn’t understand a romantic relationship devoid of sex, either. It’s a common kind of perspective. I can’t fault her for having a common and accepted perspective of love, even if my view differs greatly.

What I’m wondering… is whether she knows he’s venturing into identifying as asexual. I mean, that’s a weird, confusing thing for people to deal with. I just did that last year, and thank fuck I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time.

That kind of revelation… That moment when you realize that your feelings that you’ve been dealing with and suppressing aren’t necessarily strange and even if they are you’re not alone in feeling them… That’s a big fucking moment. You’re relieved, but you wonder if this is even a real thing. You like the sense of community and belonging, but wonder what this means for the future if you accept the label. You inevitably get depressed trying to think of a person you know that would be okay with a sexless relationship and coming up with NO ONE.

I don’t know what it’s like to accept that you’re homosexual or bisexual or trans. I would never try to explain that feeling and all the emotions that come with it. When you’re homosexual, though, even if everyone you personally know is some kind of terrible bigoted, hatefully religious, probably republican fear monger, we’ve reached a time in first world countries where you are aware that there’s a big, raging, beautiful LGBT community out there that will help you pick up the pieces of your shattered world and push you to just be overwhelmingly yourself. While they can’t put your life back together and they can’t fix the people in your life that might be shitheads about it, at least they are there and it’s relatively common knowledge that they are there. It doesn’t make everything better, but I would imagine it makes you feel just a little less alien during a time in your life when you think the world might end.

Being asexual is not like that at all. First, most asexuals just assume they’re probably hetero, and that sex is just over-hyped bullshit. Somewhere during puberty asexuals will feel out of place because all your friends talk about is which of the rest of your friends they wanna bump uglies with. (Puberty is revolting.) You justify it by thinking you’re a late bloomer, or maybe you sit down and seriously think if you might not be hetero and that’s why you don’t have those thoughts, or maybe you react like I did and jump on anything with a pulse because overcompensating totally works (it does not, but I thought it did). We had an LGBT Alliance at my school. All my friends from freshman year turned out to be gay (spoiler alert: not all of them are still gay… but that’s an entry for another day), so I was in that club. We talked a lot about lesbians, gay men, homophobia, hate crimes… not once did we talk about asexuality. We also didn’t cover that in health class, and I didn’t hear about the word till I was 26 and playing around on Tumblr.

Not experiencing sexual attraction just wasn’t a thing when I was growing up; so, my lack of feelings obviously indicated I was broken.

Not to go too deep into it, but high school was one big banner of me realizing I was broken in a myriad of ways. So, I just racked this up to, “more shit you need to learn to fake.” Also on that list was emotional stability, confidence, non-violent thoughts, and happiness.

This guy is older than me. So it’s been longer for him than it was for me to find out that there are other people in the world that have been faking sexuality. On top of that, he IS autistic and depressed. That wasn’t just hateful shit that comes flying out of a hurt person during a breakup, that’s actually his reality. So, while I feel for the girl, because I’m sure being broken up with hurts (I’ve never been broken up with in a really real relationship… because I’m the one that freaks out and leaves when shit gets weird), I have to look at this from all sides.

Not that it’s really any of my business.

Train Wrecks

So I’m a train wreck.

This isn’t news. You read a couple of my entries, and you know it to be true.
BUT… did you know that I also attract OTHER train wrecks?
It’s true. I’ve had a variety of them.

  • The white trash lil misogynist boy that broke up with me when I told him that at 13 years old, I was unsure if I wanted kids.
  • The suicidal one that I actually previously had thrown in a psych ward.
  • The meth addicted one that ended up homeless and arrested.
  • The severe alcoholic white trash with a caste complex, who was married.
  • The introverted gamer with no life aspirations, who resigned himself to taking care of his bipolar mother and brother.
  • The recently released from rehab stoner with no life motivation other than to get more drugs.

This mostly isn’t shit I found out LATER, either. In most of these cases I went in knowing these people were uber fucked up. I call it my “I can fix them” phase. I have since decided that I don’t care to fix anyone, even if I could do it. The train wrecks have NOT gotten that memo yet, though.

So, you may recall my entries about the guy that I literally scared the fuck out of. Well, he texted me last night while I was watching Doctor Who.

To recap:

  • I met him at a poly party, and we were the only 2 non-poly people.
  • I took him home in spite of better judgement, because he winked at me a lot… and I dig that.
  • He had a car and a job, but was living in his car.
  • After a lovely weekend, he didn’t want to pursue anything potentially romantic because I talk about killing people a lot and that creeped him out.

So I haven’t heard from him in a while, and I’m sitting at home watching Doctor Who when I get a text. I’m a polite kind of person, so I answer and inquire as to his welfare, and he tells me about how he’s doing awful… because he got a DUI and lost his job.

I’m just like… kay…

We chat a little bit, mostly about his potential jail time, and then he asks if “when [he] gets his shit together we could go to a movie or something.”

I’m not going to lie to you guys… In my head I immediately went, “I don’t need your shit, so no…” Instead I brought up the fact I creeped him out, and he said, verbatim, “My recent line of thinking is that if I get to know you better, I may not be so unnerved by some of your quirker quirks.

So you’re telling me… That you got picked up for a DUI, and while you were in the drunk tank you thought real hard about this and think that getting to know me better would make me less creepy. You did this while sleeping off your DUI…

Okay, maybe it didn’t go down exactly like that, but he was already barely skating by when I met him. Job, car, and an address are my bare minimums, and he didn’t have an address… I don’t have the time or energy to deal with an unemployed, homeless guy. Ain’t no one taking up residence in my house, and ain’t no one getting none of this without a job. My standards are admittedly low, but they’re not THAT low…

This is so predictable, though. I always attract men that totally fuck their lives over the moon, and then try to fix their lives and want to update me on it all the time. Like they’re going to woo me with how well they can piece their lives back together. I’m always just like, “Maybe you shouldn’t have fucked up in the first place, bruh.”

The meth addict, especially, used to do this. He did it for years after we broke up. Every so often, I’d get a text or a FB message about him and how he was. He updated me on jobs and relationships, everything. He was so excited to tell me when he got married and about his kids, and he wanted me to go meet them. Eventually I had to explain to him that I don’t even go out of my way to meet the kids of friends that live in my own city… I was not about to drive 45 minutes away to meet the wife and kids of an ex boyfriend… We weren’t friends. So… I blocked him on FB… Lol.

But seriously… train wrecks. They errywurr, and they attracted to me.