VEGAS TRIP & Birthday Gifts

Last week was my trip to Vegas for my 30th birthday!

Chris, in anticipation of missing me, took me and his daughter out to Texas Roadhouse the night before I left. Addi was SO tired, though. It was kind of hilarious, cuz she was tired-angry, as kids get when they miss their nap. It was still nice, though. Afterward, he came over and we just hung out. Nothing too interesting.

Thursday after work I ran home, got Frankie and Bdo over to Mom’s, and finished packing just in time for Cat to pull up a little early. She had to drop her dogs at her parents’ place anyways, so she picked me up and her dad took us out to the airport. We had some time to kill so we grabbed dinner at this “Colorado Cuisine” restaurant at the airport. Oddly, they were 30 minutes from closing. I didn’t realize restaurants at the airport closed, since DIA never closes. We ate fast, but noticed that in spite of closing soon they were still seating people, and not like single people but whole large groups. It was… odd, considering how short and abrasive the hostess had been about our quick meal.

Shortly after we got done we were allowed to board. We were, unfortunately, in boarding zone 4… so that was… meh. The flight itself was kind of miserable. Frontier is a cheap airline, and it shows. We’re all packed in like sardines and the armrests are super low so you can’t get comfortable. I tried to nap for two hours with mixed success. But that was all fine, since we landed in lovely Las Vegas.

Originally the plan was to drop and then head to the Aria to get evening drinks with David, but David dropped hours before we did and drank while he waited, and consequently went to bed. That was real inconvenient, because we were already in the Lyft headed there, and for whatever reason we couldn’t change the destination. SO…. So, the driver is really nice. He navs us to Cat’s cousin’s place off the record for $12. But he’s also a really distracted driver. He missed several turns. I’m sitting in this car thinking “the Lyft app is off and we’re in this dude’s car… and no one knows it…” as he repeatedly misses turns. Fortunately he was not a serial killer and took us to the address in question, but also… it was spooky.

Cat’s cousin, Rachale, is super nice. She gave me a hug and made me feel super welcome in her home. I also met her kids, who are grown people. The boy gave up his room for two nights so we had a room to sleep. That was hella sweet of him. The house itself is pretty sparse. Rachale and her kids moved around a lot, I guess, so they don’t tend to accumulate THINGS. Except the girl. She had a very nice room with actual furniture and stuff in it. Lol. Also living there, but never seen at home is Rachale’s boyfriend. He’s 13 years younger than her, short, Mexican, and has braces. He’s pretty adorable, but you could mistake him for a teen. Lol. She’s quite proud to have him.

Instead of going out, we went to Walmart at 1am, and got some girl beer (wine coolers). Things that happen in Vegas at 1am apparently also include Walmart. Who knew?

The next morning Cat and I left without Rachale, because she was still asleep. We went to meet David for brunch at The Pub at Aria. They don’t have brunch on Fridays. Lol. We didn’t know. So we did lunch. I had an Impossible Burger™. What is an Impossible Burger™? It’s a vegan hamburger that FUCKING TASTES LIKE MURDER. In a good way. The vegans made a burger that legit tastes like a burger. I was excited to try it, and more excited that it was delicious.

After lunch we hung out in the bar inside Aria, and then Rachale came down. She was hungry so we went to The Peppermill. That’s an outlandish ass restaurant. Rachale got lunch and we split a giant brownie for my birthday.

Then it was off to the Saw Escape Room!

If you go to Vegas and do the Saw Escape Room, pay for a VIP tour. Don’t get me wrong, we had a blast! But I really hated the middle aged people that joined our group. Also, 10 people is too many. If it had just been the four of us I think it would have gone more smoothly and been a little more fun, but we had fun anyways. I felt especially special because I found the very first clue, and I opened the safe at the end. So yay me! I love puzzles…. We won, so the actress didn’t have to saw off her foot… although… I kinda wanted to see that.

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After that, it was on to Fremont Street. If you don’t know, Fremont Street is OLD Vegas. If you’re looking for lights and cheap drinks, Fremont Street is a good place to hang out. So we grabbed a Lyft and ended up at Container Park. It’s a weird little place made of shipping containers, guarded by a giant praying mantis that shoots flames to music. I dunno why, but I’m all about it.

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We went up and down Fremont Street. At some point Cat hurt her knee and started limping and grimacing a lot. That made me feel better because my feet and knees were killing me. I appreciated the slower pace. We is getting old. I thought for sure that since Davy had surgery on his leg he might cramp up, but if he did he didn’t show it. We saw semi-professional wrestling going on, and tried a bar called Nerd just because it had an octopus with glasses for a mascot (it was terrible), and watched some performers… I mean Fremont Street is intense. There’s so many people, and a giant 40 ft ballerina puppet, and… just STUFF EVERYWHERE. A bit overwhelming, really.

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We toddled around and ended up at Bally’s where Rachale and it got cold. David and Cat had no hoodies, so we tried to find some, but couldn’t. We ended up sitting at a tiki bar, and I was like… “Guys, why don’t we call it?” Cuz no one looked like they were having a good time anymore. We were tired and not drunk because drinking at sea level is nothing. So we called it and planned on brunch at Aria the next day.

We did NOT get brunch at Aria. Lol.

Instead, for a more economic brunch, we were going to hit House of Blues. We ended up getting there too late, though. Cat & Rachale are not morning people Lol. Fortunately, Rachale had a backup plan and took us to her favorite Irish Pub. We had Irish breakfast! And it was awesome. Who knew I liked white and black pudding? Not me. It was fucking delicious.

Afterwards we did some shopping, and really just hung out until David had to leave for his flight. We had two hours to kill after that, so we went to the Bellagio and saw their gardens. Pretty epic. It’s never the same twice, and the flowers are lovely and… yeah. Worth seeing if you go. We also saw the fountains. They danced to My Heart Will Go On. It was kind of amazeballs.

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The flight home was about as miserable as the flight in, but I was really just excited to sleep in my own bed, and not with Cat. Lol. Also, Chris agreed to come over, even though I got in super late. Turns out he missed me. Lol. I was excited because at midnight it was HIS birthday, and I wanted to give him his birthday present. I think he liked it. I designed it myself since I couldn’t find anything cool for Spawn & Hellboy. So he got the sweatshirt and the framed art…. He says he likes it. I choose to believe him.

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Secret Vacation

So. I got some vacation time this week.

I was talking to Bosslady about how I was going to lose my vacation this year. You see, at my place of work if you don’t USE the vacation, you LOSE it, because the company doesn’t pay it out. So, I was telling Bosslady how I lost my vacation and she was like NO YOU DID NOT!!! TAKE THE VACATION! NOW!

So, I was on vacation this week. I didn’t tell anyone, because… they might wanna do stuff… and I had things I wanted to get done.

I cleaned mom’s house Monday. I didn’t CLEAN IT clean it, but I vacuumed like four times for dog hair, cleaned the bathrooms, and mowed the lawn.
Tuesday I had problems doing things… Kinda wore myself out Monday, I guess. Still, I managed to mow my front and backyard.
Wednesday I went to Lowes for some garden stuff, including some Lois flowers. They’re called Lantana, and my grandma, Lois, grew them in giant bushes in Florida.

Wednesday evening I called to be sure Mothership had left work and she was NOT good. She was dizzy and nauseous, so I went and got her from work. When we got home she threw up… and I panicked. It was too much like that day I had to take her to Urgent Care… I don’t know if I can survive her in the hospital again. Fortunately, I set her up in bed and she woke up much better. That meant that I had to take her back to work Thursday, though.

So this morning I took her to work. It was a pleasant enough ride. Afterward, since I had a blood pressure check on that side of town at 1030 anyways, I went to Village Inn for breakfast. It wasn’t my best idea to eat before a blood pressure check. The omelet upset my stomach, which I think raised my blood pressure some; also: salt content. So I went in for the check and it was 138/90. That’s good, but it’s not quite where they wanted it to be. As a result, my doctor increased my Procardia. Doubled it, actually.

Here is the baffling thing about this experience.

My shrink reduced my Effexor because she thought it was raising my blood pressure. Last week, after I saw Joe and had better blood pressure, I got her to agree to increase it again and let me keep the Wellbutrin. That was major. Because it’s not as low as they wanted it, my Effexor might be in danger again.

I can’t go back to how I was before the Effexor. I woke every morning wishing I hadn’t. It’s no way to live. While I’m not 100% great right now, I’m better. That little bit of better is so important to me. I’ll do anything to keep the Effexor. That’s an important determination to make, because the Procardia is causing some tiredness and joint pain… and this flushing thing where I’m just super hecking hot a lot of the time. Procardia is not pleasant when you tend to get every single side effect known to occur… but I can’t go back. I need the Effexor because I like wanting to live.

Admittedly, the tiredness and joint pain is hindering my former burst of energy that I got with the Effexor, but I’m still better on the Effexor than off of it.

We’ll just have to see how this plays out. Tomorrow I wanna do more yard work, and I’m getting the dogs groomed. It would be great to have a nice backyard to read in…

OREGON IS SO GREEN

 

I spent the last week in Oregon!!!  And oh my gawd, it is SO GREEN!!!

Snapchat-198430322.jpgMonday morning I flew out to Portland to spend a week with my best friend Billie. She moved there about a year and a half ago, and I finally had money to visit. PDX was confusing… they have a lack of proper signage, but it’s still a pretty nice airport.

Since Billie lives about an hour south, in Salem, we spent the afternoon in downtown Portland. It was weird, because downtown Portland looks a lot like Downtown Denver… just smaller. We had lunch at a food truck (yay Gyros!) and then grabbed some Fraps at Starbucks before heading out to Salem.

When we got back to her place, her hubby was waiting for Injustice 2 to activate! They got it specifically because I was coming out. That was super nice. Billie made gumbo and we lost incredibly to her super skilled husband.

Snapchat-1847588434.jpgTuesday, we went into downtown Salem. It’s not much of a downtown, to be honest. It’s six blocks and most of it is mall, but we ate at Coin Jam and played House of the Dead! It’s like a less busy 1UP. I really liked it. After that, we went to Book Bin where I picked up a book on Einstein disproving the existence of Vulcan (cuz I’m a goddamn nerd) and a Twin Peaks novel for mom and I. It was great. I love me a good book store.

Wednesday we had lunch at a small brewery called McMenamins. It was cute. I taught Billie how to sample flights of beer. Then we strolled around downtown Salem and she showed me a store that flaunts a spooky ass haunted doll, amongst other weird antique kinda things.

snapchat-1618068878.jpg After that, we went to Starbucks, so I could pee, and I looked at the menu and ordered a “Hand-Shaken Iced Tea.” The clerk just looked at me and was like, “what… flavor?” So I glanced at the board, and they had black, green, white, and I think red tea. I assumed that was my bad and asked for black, cuz I love me some black tea. He was like, “That is the vaguest order I’ve ever heard.” So… attempting to remain calm, cuz I still really needed to use the bathroom, I was like, “Okay, but it’s on the menu above your head?” And he literally turned around, stared at the menu and was like, “oh my god it is… no one has ever ordered that…”

So, I confused the barista by ordering a basic iced tea… so that was a weird adventure I’ll never forget…

Thursday was my FAVORITE DAY.

20170518_142405_061.jpgBillie drove me to Newport. Now, you have to understand that Newport is NOT close to Salem. Also, she intentionally took some back roads to make it really fucking scenic. So, we were in a car for two hours. I played DJ, because I had music saved to my phone and she didn’t. Fortunately, the thing Billie and I like about each other the most is that we are VERY malleable in the preference department. So, she had fun listening to all my weird synth electronica and metal covers of 80s songs.

We drove through Dallas, OR, which was surprisingly cute. It has farms, and then just some random suburban looking homes. It also has a small business area with like, little local businesses, grocery store, and I think they had a Walmart. I couldn’t help but think how much it looked like a small southern town, and how much mom would love it.

Mom really misses seeing nothing. As Denver, and Colorado in general, grows, we tend to lose the nothing. It’s like the opposite of The Neverending Story.

She picked Newport because 20170518_114716_055.jpgthey have an aquarium, and that aquarium has a Giant Red Octopus, and I love octopuses… Especially giant red ones that are located in small coastal towns.

So we wandered around the aquarium. They had this ridiculous eel that was totally a ham for the camera. He was enormous! And I totally wanted to pet him… but they don’t let you do that.

We also played with the petting pool… and I felt bad about that, because of that scene in Finding Dory where they all scream and hide, but it was just sea cucumbers, sea anemones, and starfish. Sorry. Sea stars… the lady in charge made it REALLY clear that they are not at all fish and that we are in charge of being sure the younger generations do no refer to them improperly.

20170518_105446.jpgWe got hugged by the anemones. We pet the sea cucumbers. We pet coral sea stars, leather sea stars, and… something else that felt more like leather than the leather stars. The leather stars felt slimy and gross…

After the aquarium we had lunch at a little brewery that was right on the coast. Like, it’s so much on the coast that there were fishermen in rubber coveralls having lunch there, and cleaning fish out back. Oddly, they did not serve seafood. I guess when you live on the coast it’s nice to have pulled pork and burgers, since you deal with fish every single day. We both got flights of beer, and chatted, and it was really nice. We thought of doing a tour, but didn’t. Instead, we hit the beach.20170518_141510.jpg

Here is a picture of me running toward the beach… I was REAL excited. It was a nice overcast day, and the whole week was in the 50s and 60s, but I was still hecka excited to be at a beach and smell salt water, and see dogs running in the surf!

We went to Nye Beach, and it was hella fucking cute! It reminds me of home, back in Pensacola, but with less weird hick locals… Billie insists Oregon has hicks, but I didn’t see any. The houses were adorable, everything was hecka green right up to the cliffs, and the sound of the waves was everything.

20170518_142405_061.jpgI’ve never been to a Northwestern Beach before, and it was interesting, because I’m used to dunes. Pensacola has a protected dune habitat that I grew up walking. It’s squishy and makes your legs tired, but is great for that classic beach aesthetic. Northwestern Beaches are dramatically different. For one, there’s the cliffs. Ain’t got cliffs in Pensacola. Also, the sand is hard, hard as concrete under your feet. It was weird! But the beach was nice. We checked out some tide pools and sat on a log to watch the waves for a while. It was a great way to end the day and prep for the long drive back. We decided to head back to the apartment a little early so we could rest up before going to a movie.

That evening she and her hubster took me to Cinebar, which was really nice for little Salem. It’s just a movie theater that serves really real food items… we didn’t eat there, though. We saw Alien Covenant! And it was great. I mean, it’s not the first or second movies, but it was a great sequel to Prometheus, if you ask me… and this is my blog, so you kinda did… 20170518_181346.jpg

There were some other storylines that went on while I was visiting. A, I managed to art! Billie let me use her colored pencils, and for the first time in months I managed to produce some good pieces. They’re just little illustrations, but they’re good, and making them made me feel good. Here is one of them. I really like the expression on this one.

20170515_072906.jpg2, I read a book. I brought a couple of books with me, because I assumed I’d be awake before everyone (I was correct) and I needed something to do on the plane rides. I managed to kill Fahrenheit 451 pretty early in the week, and I started The Never-ending Story before I left. I got some Snapchat-282850064.jpggood reading in, and I felt really good about it, because I haven’t been great at reading consistently. It takes a lot more concentration power than I’ve been able to manage most of the time. While I was bummed that my flight to Denver was delayed 40 minutes, it did give me more time to put into reading. So I guess that wasn’t too bad.

D, I was on a mission for Billie’s cats to love me. Billie’s had Galaxy for years, but Galaxy is a very small, declawed, black cat that hates people. At least, that’s who she used to be. While I was visiting, it was amazing! She was out and yelled at people to pet her… It took a couple of days, but she warmed up to me pretty good. The real Everest was Tara. She’s new, and she’s weird. She’s real skittish, and doesn’t even really like Billie or Aaron that much. I pretty much stalked that cat the whole time I was there, because I wanted her to love me. When she kept clawing the carpet, I volunteered to hold her while Billie clipped her nails. Then I held her while she made sad cat noises… Lol. She didn’t really LIKE that, but afterwards, she didn’t really run from me anymore. I wouldn’t say we bonded, but Thursday she let me pet her on the head for a good long while. So… it was pretty successful… Lol.

I’m not looking forward to going back to work. While I was gone, things just got…worse. I’m so tired of my job and the ridiculous people there who can’t follow procedures, or think for themselves. There’s some borderline shifty shit happening, that I will refrain from explaining for possible legal reasons. But… I put in some resumes for some Oregon dealerships. I would love to move to Newport. I even found a super cute home that I think Mom and I could live mostly comfortably in (can’t leave her here). My resume went to a lot of places not in Newport, though. I gotta find a job first. I can catch up on housing after I maybe secure income… But I want out. Out of my job. Out of Denver. Out of Colorado. I want something new, something different. Billie being a couple hours drive away is a real motivation to move, too. I miss her so hard, and she hasn’t made any friends yet…

So… that’s where I’m at. I’m in love with the idea of leaving. I miss Billie already. But I had a really good time.

Also, I’m starting a diet tomorrow. It’s the 21 Day Fix. I wanted it to be pretty easy. I won’t be doing the home workouts, but I figure I can walk in the evening… that’s a good start, cuz I am SO FAT.

But yeah… PICTURE OF AWESOME FRIENDSHIP!

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One Week

One week from today I’ll be with my Billie in Oregon.
I’m very excited about it. I’ve missed her so much.

Billie and I met by happenstance. Her boyfriend had posted a Craigslist ad for someone to hang out and watch horror movies with. Billie was a lot more interesting than her boyfriend. It cracked me up, because when they split Billie didn’t want to tell me they broke up; I dunno why. When push came to shove, though… I helped Billie move out and she got me in the breakup. Lol.

I couldn’t have known how much I’d like Billie. She was just so… HER… all the time. Whether she was a goth or a hippy, she was overwhelmingly her, and I loved that. I’m not sure I’ve ever just been me, so I guess that’s why it’s such an admirable quality.

When she moved away with her new boyfriend, I wrote her everyday until she broke up with him and came back to live in my basement for a while. Her boyfriend sold everything he owned in an “I Love Billie” yard sale, and hopped a flight to come back for her. It was super cute. They lived with me for a bit, but then got their own place, and eventually her job took her away from me again, this time to Oregon.

It’s been sad not having her around, because no matter what I want to do, Billie would do it with me. Band she’s never heard of? Let’s go. Alt punk fashion show? Totes in. Video games and pizza? No hesitation. Billie is just that kind of person…

BUT I GET TO SEE HER NEXT MONDAY!!!!!!!

So… yay countdown.

Staycation

I’ve been on vacation, but I didn’t go anywhere. We call that a staycation.

I made a big list of things to accomplish while I was off. Some were more realistic than others… I made a small dent on the list. Not nearly enough got done.

Wednesday I managed to wash Bdo and clean the kitchen; they are both still mostly clean. It wasn’t my most productive day…

Thursday binged watched RuPaul’s Drag Race… but I also bought new underoos. So… kind of productive?

Friday I was sick… like legit sick, too. Lots of vomiting and migraine symptoms were to be had, followed by an evening of pacing the living room in an attempt to cure the mystery abdominal pain that showed up at 2am. It hurt bad enough that I thought of going to the ER… but I didn’t want to pay the copay. I paced for about an hour and a half, and then managed to lay down in a position that didn’t hurt. It was a rough night. Also, the pacing irritated the shit out of the cat.

Saturday was the grand opening of Torrid at a nearby mall! So mom and I got up and went to stand in drizzle in the hopes of landing a gift card. We did not, but the whole store was buy one get one 50% so we bought some stuff! I got a sports bra, and it’s the most comfortable thing I’ve bought in ages. Debating going back to get more of them. We also hit Charming Charlie for some accessories. Then we had lunch. I’d been fine till after we ate, and the abdominal pain came back… so we came home and I just hung out the rest of the day. I was feeling better in the evening, so Bird and I went to see our friends play. It was a fun night, AND I got a guy’s phone number. So that’s weird.

Sunday, Mom and I went back to the mall. We hit TJ Maxx, and bought too much stuff, and then went to JC Penny, cuz Mom wanted dresses. We found no dresses. JC Penny was confusing. It was so hard to find women’s clothes… Then we hit Dress Barn, and then I went off to a movie with Bird. We saw Boss Baby, and I’m seriously curious how a Christian group hasn’t latched onto that movie to boycott it for being WAY homoerotic. After that, I came home and played FFXV while talking to Markimoo over the PS4. He even watched some gameplay and helped me out.

Today was… an emotional day. Everything I tried to do failed, and just getting up was really hard. I did manage to clean the dog run, even if I cried through it; and I got blackout curtains for the front window, which I also cleaned. I bought a curtain for the laundry closet, just so I don’t have to look at the cat box anymore, too. Then the cat threw up on the bed. It wasn’t overly productive, but it wasn’t a great lazy day, either.

I’m hoping to do something in my room tomorrow… hang up clothes, put shit away… it would really help round out staycation. Lol.

Staycations

I haven’t been on a real vacation in a few years.

I think the last real vacation I went on was to see Davy in San Diego back when he was still in Law School. Unless you count that terrible trip to Las Vegas with that crazy girl… But I don’t count that, as I spent the whole time trying to decide if I was going to throw her over the balcony or sneak out in the middle of the night and catch a flight home. I don’t count that trip. I actively cringe at and try to forget that trip.

Anyways, last week I was on vacation. That means what it always means… I stay home and try to get some housework done. It isn’t like, a GOOD vacation, but at least I wasn’t at work, I guess. It was nice to wake up later than 6, but otherwise it wasn’t actually a great week.

The Sunday before staycation was Mother’s Day. I got Mothership the NES game Burger Time, and a Retron 5 to play it on… but the Retron 5 didn’t work… nor did the other two I got after that… so, I just got my money back and I’m now on the market for an NES… or maybe another kind of retro gaming system. I did make her breakfast, and we hung out Saturday and she hung out at my place on Sunday. It was uneventful but fine…

Monday I mowed three yards. It was hard and terrible, because they were getting a bit overgrown and not one of them is level. Tuesday I did nothing. I was just depressed, so I decided it was a sick day. Wednesday I did a little bit… but not much, and then went to meet this guy I know from Facebook for a drink in really real life. He’s nice, but only wants to be friends… and because his schedule is so dramatically different from mine (he goes to bed at 8pm) I will probably not see him in really real life again. Thursday I tried to work in the living room… boxed up DVDs and stuff to put in the crawlspace, because I’m not ready to part with them but they take up too much space. Friday I mowed my backyard… and I think I cut it too close… and if my whole lawn dies it’s totally on me… plus I discovered all the wasps living in the various boxes on my property. So… not great.

Friday I also skipped out on my friend’s 30th birthday party. I had the intention of going, but I thought about it really hard and couldn’t think of a good reason to go. Is she a nice person? Yes, totally. Have I known her a long time? Since high school.

The reason I skipped out is because I didn’t want to go and I didn’t think I’d be missed. I don’t like karaoke. She loves it, so that’s what she did for her party. I also don’t feel comfortable in a social setting. Either I say something that makes me realize that I don’t relate to people at all or no one really speaks to me and I end up drunk from drinking my drinks too fast, as a way to cope with being socially awkward and ignored. Drunk me also has a tendency to try and socialize even harder, only to end up saying something moronic or offensive, so this doesn’t help me at all.

There’s also this thing that bothers me about my friends… They don’t show up.
I haven’t had a birthday party since I was 21. My birthday is inconvenient, as it’s Halloween, but also I never have anyone to invite to a party. My friends don’t come to parties that I throw, and this was first illustrated to me when at my 21st birthday party so few of MY friends showed up that my live-in boyfriend had to invite a bunch of his friends to come over so that I wouldn’t be depressed. This concept was reaffirmed when I had a picnic… invited a bunch of people, and only one person besides my mom showed up. I have a blog post about that, but it’s too depressing to link.

It’s just a thing… I’ve decided to stop bending for people. I’m lonely, sure, because everyone I know is a terrible friend, except the one in Oregon… but she’s in Oregon…. so… whatever.

This feeling will pass…

Point is, it was a depressing staycation… I accomplished almost nothing important, and I have no social life.

Updates: All Crammed Together

I keep saying that I’m going to make a YouTube channel… but I just can’t figure out how to start. I’m thinking of just posting videos with the air of, “Yeah, I’ve been making videos for years. If you like it, you should subscribe and be part of the cool kids that follow me on YouTube. New videos every Sunday.” Essentially just fake it until I get any kind of real following. I’m not sure if that’s a good approach or not, but it’s what I’m thinking of doing.

Just imagine it… I get some followers who freak out, because I’m perpetually referencing things that happened in videos that were never actually made…
“So as you might recall from last year…”
What? You only have four videos…
WHAT DID I MISS?!
And then if/when I get any kind of actual following I can do flashback skit vids, in which I dress like a scene girl or a goth or something, and pretend I’m 12… and just say something a retarded kid would say in a YouTube vid. Yes… I kind of like that idea. And my real vids will be shot with my nice Nikon camera… and I’ll shoot my throwback vids on my laptop cam, or ipad cam… yes… that could be a lot of fun, and it can be a running theme of my vids to do flashback skits… hrm… ideas.

Is it sad that that’s almost all I have to talk about right now?
Yeah, kinda.


Let’s see… so I had a three day weekend. Thursday when I got home, though, the ceiling panel to my attic space had fallen out. That’s spooky. That’s how god damn horror movies start, for fuck sake. So I was paranoid as hell about that… That was really the perfect topping on my good day gone disappointing, for you see, I was supposed to go on a date. Date cancelled last minute… and actually, when I looked at their profile this morning, they’ve deleted themselves from the site entirely. So… that was shitty. Friday, after NOT being murdered by the chick from the Grudge, who I was certain prolly lived in my attic…

Grudge

This is exactly what I envisioned waking up to in the middle of the night.

I didn’t really do much Friday, to be honest with you. I wanted to. I’d love to accomplish all kinds of thing with my days off, but I suffer from a complete lack of motivation to do anything unless it relates to me being able to keep living… That’s literally the only reason I get up in the morning for work. So I pretty much did nothing…

AND THEN THE TORNADO SIRENS STARTED.

If you don’t know, we have weird weather in Colorado. April blizzards, give way to May thunderstorms, which cause floods, and then trigger June tornado season, which will, in turn, evolve into high temperatures and the whole state being on fire during July and August… It doesn’t rhyme, but it’s the accurate analysis. So there I was, I was at home, deciding to do the only thing I’d done all day, which was to get Chipotle for lunch, when the sirens started to go off. I am terrified of tornado sirens. I don’t know why. I’ve never been in a tornado. I’ve been in hurricanes, when I lived in FL, but not tornadoes. We’ve seen tornadoes here, living close to the plains, as we do. We’ve seen one nearly touch down on our street, though it didn’t do damage to anything. Mostly, though, the ever steady march Eastward makes the chances of getting legit hit by a tornado in my area smaller every year.

Still, the fucking siren is god awful. I guess it’s because no one associates that noise, which I refer to as an air raid siren, with good thing. They never sound a siren when you’re winning a house, or when candy is going to fall from the sky. Sirens mean that we are under attack or that mother nature herself is debating if she’s going to murder you today. Also… SILENT HILL.

I joke about Colorado being a lot like Silent Hill, all the time. We get weird fog. We have air raid sirens. We catch on fire a lot, so it can rain ash. Plus there’s that whole mountain terrain thing. All in all, Colorado isn’t nearly as terrifying as Silent Hill, but we have many discomforting parallels.

The only editing was to make this image sepia and drop in the characters... Like I said... Colorado is much like Silent Hill.

The only editing was to make this image sepia and drop in the characters… Like I said… Colorado is much like Silent Hill.

Anyways, I ventured out in spite of the sirens and got my beloved burrito bowl. When I got home… there were more sirens. The sirens probably went off every 30-45 minutes for the rest of the day. Even if you aren’t scared of the sirens, that’s REALLY FUCKING UNNERVING. It didn’t help that the weather and radar apps on my phone would go off right after the sirens to confirm the tornado warning, nor did it help that the only person I managed to get a hold of was my terrified friend 2 miles away who was locked in her house drinking wine and sending me SnapChats of “YES, IT’S FREAKING TERRIFYING. I SHALL LET YOU KNOW WHEN WE ARE GOING TO DIE.”

Fortunately, the panic attack about dying passed as I got closer to when I needed to get ready to go to derby. I hadn’t been to a Women’s Flat Track Roller Derby bout in a long, long time. I was really excited! But I also hate going to the venue. Lol. The Fillmore, while lovely on the inside and definitely historic as it opened in 1907, has really shitty parking in a shitty part of town. There is NO WHERE to park in that area. It’s insane. But I found a spot 2 blocks away, and I thought that would be good. The bout was great. Here are some pics.

Fillmore 20150605_181151

After the bout we went to the Wendy’s next door. Here’s the thing about that… this is all on Colfax: a notorious street in Denver famed for housing meth heads and prostitutes (who are assumed to also be meth heads). In spite of the work they’ve done to try and revitalize Colfax, mostly by turning parts of it into an art district, this particular area is still pretty much a lot of meth heads. So the Wendy’s had a bunch of them sleeping in the front… and one woman wandering around trying to score more meth… She could have been 30 for all I know, but she looked like the Crypt Keeper with boobs. It was awful.

So my friend convinced me to hit karaoke, and I convinced her husband to take us to my car, since he wasn’t gonna go to karaoke and I didn’t wanna walk 2 and a half blocks past that many meth heads. They come out at night like some kind of nightmare creatures. I can only assume they live in the sewers, as I never see them during the day. They are not to be confused with the masses of homeless that live on Colfax, either. Those are two VERY different groups of people.

Karaoke was a bore. I don’t even actually like it anymore, but I like seeing my karaoke diva friend, so I staid for like an hour.

Saturday I got woken up by a text from the Saturday receptionist at work. She was headed to the ER, so that meant someone needed to cover her and help train the new Saturday receptionist… I called boss lady and told her, so boss lady went into work, and finally managed to get two office girls to come in and split the day with the new woman. That was good, because before that it was looking like it was going to be me… and I was so bummed about it, since I was supposed to be on vacation.

Mom and I saw Insidious 3 that afternoon. I can’t say it was GOOD, but I didn’t feel like I wasted my money. I’ve never been that fond of the Insidious franchise, but it was the only thing that sounded interesting. It wasn’t too bad, which is all you can ask from most horror these days.

Sunday, Mom came over to assess the hole where my attic panel should be. Then we went to Lowe’s without measuring it… eventually decided on a fix that didn’t require ANYTHING from Lowe’s… and then we hit the pharmacy and the grocery. I thought I was gonna overdraw my bank account at the grocery… I’m always so broke this time of month… but I didn’t! And that’s what’s important.


Today boss lady proposed a raise and job change to me.

Our old title clerk left for a better job a while back, and her replacement, for lack of a better word choice, sucks. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. Everything gets rejected, and while they write ON THE RETURN FORM why the title got rejected, she’s incapable of correcting it, noting the error, and not doing it again. She’s also terribly disorganized, and has no idea how basic and easy this job could really be. It’s been infuriating for the boss lady, and annoying to me, because I have to hear about it.

So… boss lady suggested to me that I learn titles. Then we’d train some other people to do my job.

I’m pretty sure I can do it. It’s very repetitive work… I’m uniquely organized at work… and, hell… I could use a raise.

So… that’s exciting. I’m really happy about it.


I am NOT happy about my dating life. Every time something fails it just feels more and more like I’m never going to find anyone. Also, I get grossed out every time someone wants to fuck me. It’s just gross. Like, can we get to know each other before I compromise my comfort level to accommodate what you think is a basic human need? I understand normal people like sex. It’s supposedly very fun, and great… but like… I don’t. I want someone to hang out with and drag to metal shows, and lay around with me on a Sunday while we play old video games and order Thai food…

No one is into that idea… And it’s totally devastating.

I think dating was easier before I realized that not feeling sexual attraction and not liking sex is a thing with a name and a community. Sex was just part of the deal. You put out to lure them in… and… it’s just something you do in exchange for their time. Now I’m like, “No… why would I want to fuck you? Can’t we NOT do that, but do everything else in a relationship? Why am I the one that has to compromise? Also, while we’re at it, can you NOT be a clingy, sappy, totally grosstastic mess over me? Like can I just live?”

Being asexual and aromantic, as interesting as it is, and as nice as it is to have words for my feelings…. is fucking terrible. I mean no one wants to die alone… but the only way to get someone to stay with you is a relationship, and the only way you seem to be able to entice people to a relationship these days is by letting them fuck you… and I’m just plain grossed out by all of it. In the event I could land a relationship, I’d figure out the sex part… but like… do we have to start there? Do we? Cuz I fucking veto that. It’s unacceptable.

I actually had someone tell me today that sex is basic human interaction.
NO. No it is not.
Think of all your friends, relatives, acquaintances, and people you meet on the bus. If you have fucked all those people… then sure, maybe sex is basic human interaction. If you have not, then you’re like me and can relate to people without slapping your genitalia together in a sweaty repetitive motion. Like… what is the world like for that person? Have they fucked their parents, grandparents, school teachers, and grocery cashiers? I need to know.

Even my most sex positive, totally promiscuous, polyamorous friends don’t fuck EVERYONE THEY HAVE EVER KNOWN. A lot of people, sure, cuz that’s their lifestyle and it’s great that they can have those kinds of open relationships with people… but like, they haven’t fucked me, or their relatives, or our mutual friends… which implies to me that FUCKING IS NOT BASIC HUMAN INTERACTION.

So… yeah… I’m gonna die alone… and everyone in the world that wants to fuck me is apparently is terrible.